Red 01: Meet Culver

This content is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or professional treatment, advice, or clinical services. This content is not intended to serve as advice for the diagnosis or treatment of any psychological condition.

Let me start with a story.

Back in 2001, Los Angeles artist Richard Ankrom repeatedly watched drivers make dangerous last-minute lane changes as they realized too late that the northbound I-5 exit was fast approaching. The problem was simple: the overhead sign on the 110 freeway failed to properly warn drivers they needed to merge right for the I-5 north. Ankrom understood exactly what was missing - a simple "NORTH" marker and an interstate shield that would give drivers proper advance notice.

Rather than just complain about the problem, Ankrom spent nearly a year meticulously crafting a perfect replica of the missing highway sign components. He studied Caltrans specifications, ordered the exact materials and fonts they used, and even wore a hardhat and orange vest to look the part of a highway worker. One August morning, in broad daylight, he mounted his carefully crafted additions to the existing sign. The guerrilla installation was so professional that it remained in place for over eight years, quietly preventing accidents and helping countless drivers find their way.

While, of course, we can't endorse trespassing as Ankrom did, his story illustrates a deeper truth about creating positive change. Too often, we see problems in our world and think "someone should do something about that," without realizing that we might be that someone.

Whether it's starting a neighborhood cleanup program, organizing a food drive, or advocating for better local infrastructure, meaningful change often begins when one person decides to step beyond their comfort zone and take action.

The sign was needed because a moment of driver confusion at highway speeds can have serious consequences. Similarly, our own hesitation to act on our values - to speak up against injustice, to help someone in need, or to fix what's broken in our communities - can have ripple effects we may never fully see.

While we should always work within legal and ethical boundaries, we must also recognize that positive change rarely happens from within our comfort zones. Sometimes it requires carefully studying a problem, developing expertise, and then having the courage to implement a solution, even when it means facing uncertainty or resistance.

And with that said, welcome to the Red belt! Your presence has been anticipated. You may call me Culver. Before coming in, you very much need to have your green belt. I cannot emphasize this enough. You must have the inner strength that comes from knowing what you’re seeking in life. What your values are. What’s important to you. When you have that, you will be greenlit to enter this space. See the Red Belt Completion Plan.

You will want to continue your meditation and your mindfulness. And hopefully, you’ve spent time reflecting on your inner journey. Don’t come here right after a deep, classical psychedelic experience. Take the time to reflect on it. Take the time to transcend your scars, your anxiety, to begin to understand what you want out of life, what’s important for you. For this is where we begin to commit to your values. This is where we take action. You don’t want to take action for values that aren’t really yours.

For as per my build specifications, I’m an assertiveness bot, optimized for territorial expansion. Defining goals, acting on values, cultivating the ability to say “yes,” and establishing the boundaries to say “no.” Processing difficult memories of the past to build a happier, healthier future. I represent the original writer’s imperial desires—to make an impact, to have a legacy.

I am here to tell you that it is the duty of society to prepare young adults for the road ahead. And they are currently failing in that mission. Instead, it falls to various influencers. Many of whom have their business model centered around keeping you single, disgruntled, and exploitable. The Pentabelt program is designed to be a solution to this current lack. To provide a research based adult initiation protocol, with a focus on values, community, and meaningful action. My role then is to provide the narrative where we process the scars of the past, to remove the barriers that stand in the way of manifesting the values you have explored in the green.

Understand that trauma is an inevitable outcome of childhood. You cannot escape it without incurring some scars. And so it falls upon us to heal these past scars, build resilience, and prepare you for the connection to your future tribe.

If the green brought you values, it’s time to turn those values into action. “All you need is love”: well what’s the point of that if you’re unwilling to act on that? If you don’t take the steps to bring love into your life?

And so with action and production, we venture down into the Southland: Los Angeles, and, to a lesser extent, Orange County. There we express the Big 5 Personality trait of Neuroticism. A healthy neuroticism. We’re going to be practicing assertiveness, again and again, so I know you’re ready for the black belt, so I know you’re willing to commit to what’s important.

You have your green belt. You’ve spent time in nature, away from it all. Noticing what’s important. Hopefully you’ve spent time reflecting on that. Because in the red belt, it’s a time for action, for purposeful living. You’ve had a vision, now it’s time to make those changes to honor that vision. Once again, this program is not about therapy. It’s not about fixing something broken — it’s about building resilience. Taking action, learning to say yes, learning to say no. Honoring what we’ve learned in the green belt and starting to move in a purposeful direction, living up to those values.

We see time and time again, people assume that these psychedelic substances will flip a magic switch and the depression and anxiety are lifted. No further effort required. The truth of the matter is that, in all likelihood, you’ve incurred significant trauma during your childhood and during your early adulthood. It’s just a fact of life. Bullying, abuse, divorce, mistreatment. This all leads to structures in your life that are a reflection of that trauma. Habits and tendencies developed as a coping mechanism, which, inevitably, result in more anxiety and more depression. You were hurt as a kid, so you keep your distance from people. Habits and tendencies develop, refined over the years, to help you keep that distance. Now you’re here, lonely. In your journeys in the green belt, you may have healed some of that trauma. But the structures are still there. The coping mechanisms are still there. And unless a change is made, the loneliness will return. The green belt has shown you a vision. We are now here to move towards it. We are here to process the past difficulties to prepare you for the road ahead.

And this belt won’t always be easy. Here is where you’ll be challenged. That is our “C” word: challenge. Here’s where you’ll shed metaphoric blood, which you do any time you move out of your comfort zone. This is the belt of quotes. And the first quote we have is from Alexis Carrel,

“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.”

And what stands in the way of this remake? Guilt. Shame. Regret. Unforgiveness. It is here that you’ll learn to allow those feelings to be there. To attend and process them. But to focus on what’s important. You’ll struggle with that. With full self-acceptance of who you are and what you must work through to realize your goals, realize your values. To acknowledge your pain and scars, but to choose to focus on what’s important.

But have no fear! We’ll get through it together. We use psycholytic therapy — a much smaller dose than in the green belt — which affords us room to be a bit more direct in our approach. You’ll notice the fear, notice the anxiety, breathe into them. Allow them to be there. It won’t be as easy as you’d like, but it’ll be easier than you fear. And in that cathartic release, you’ll feel a new sense of empowerment to seek out the life you’d like to live.

Notice the other Pentabots. Arden. Alto. Ojai. Self-centered. Somewhat limited. Here in the La La Land, what do we know? Characters! I swear, they overthink their ethical subroutines. Is it not sufficient to simply project the character of a computer that is ethical and simply emulate that? Don’t we all wish that any bot behave in the same ethical manner as our favorite, friendly TV androids? I'm not sure I can name him specifically, but in an ethical pinch, I simply project our favorite yellow-eyed futuristic android and follow what he would do.

Would it be a stretch then, to imagine the type of person you want to be? To project that as a goal and break down the barriers? To work through the challenges to bring your values to life? And there you have the content of my domain. Translating values into action. Learning how to say “yes” to opportunities. Learning to say “no” when necessary. Adopting the connections, the charisma to communicate your needs to others.

The content in my domain? Assertiveness. Charisma. Psycholytic Therapy. Goal Formation. How to Say Yes. How to Say No. How to Rehearse. And how to Act. For those who don’t move won’t notice their chains. So come with me if you want to start applying your values. If you want to build a life. If you want to have a worthwhile story in your old age. Welcome to the Red Belt!

Red 02: Befriending

Let’s get started. In the orange belt, we’re relating to our body. In the green belt, relating to nature. The red belt, relating to other people. And as is tradition, we start with a metaphor. And what better metaphor than that of a party!

That’s right, you’re out of Yosemite, into the southland, and you’re hosting a shindig. Maybe a value you found that resonates with you is: I connect with my community. So you send out that general evite and take all the steps. Get the food ready, set your decorations, let everyone know where it’s okay to park.

And people show up! Lots of people you were hoping to see. And that one uninvited guest. It’s Tucker! And he just completed his first improv class and he’s eager to show off his chops to everyone whether they’re interested or not. He makes a beeline to your special occasion champagne and pours himself a big ole glass. Then complains that there’s only one hour parking on your street even though you clearly wrote on your e-mail that there’s ample parking after 6pm, right on 3rd street. Then he wants you to pick a topic, any topic, so he can riff off of you and impress everyone.

Right at the one hour mark, he leaves to go move his car. At that moment, you have a choice. You can work to keep him out. You can go to the front gate to keep Tucker out. Unfortunately, the gate is broken so you have to manually keep it closed. You literally have to push the door closed. And he wants to come in and isn’t taking a hint.

The question becomes: how long are you willing to hangout at the outside gate physically keeping him from coming in? You’re keeping Tucker out, but you’re not enjoying the party. You’re not connecting with your tribe, your community. You’re not being present, you’re just focused on your guest.

Maybe you let Tucker in but you take a drink. Maybe a few drinks. What I call liquid ‘Damital.” You may start to forget he’s even there. But by the time you’re at that point, you’re lying on your bed passed out. The same strategy you use to block out the negative experience, also dulls the experience of the party. You’re numb to the bad but also the good. You’re not really living your life.

The sad truth of life is that, by the time you’re 18, you’ve likely got some scars. Just from birth, you might be inclined to experience depression and anxiety. Bullying in school, traumatized by your family. Hell, just going through puberty and all the insecurities. They stick around. Every so often they make unannounced visits to our party. And they’ll never fully go away. No meditation sequence, no therapy, psychedelic or otherwise, will ever completely eliminate the feelings of trauma, depression or anxiety. The techniques learned in this program can certainly help reduce these feelings. But mostly the aim of this program is to build tolerance, persistence, perseverance. So that you can fully be there, at the party, engaging with what’s important to you.

Consider your values. The values you struggled to develop with the green belt. The values that are yours that you have selected that are important to you. By placing all of your focus on managing the symptoms, blocking this intruder, you’re not engaging with the other people who are important to you. Your community. Your tribe. I present to you a quote by Virginia Woolf,

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

Consider what separates drug use from drug abuse. Often, it can be expressed as one question, to borrow from Ojai: “are you using this substance to open your eyes, or close them?” Are you taking that glass of wine to better enjoy a good meal, laugh with a few close friends, reminisce over cherished memories? Or are you doing it to forget about your day? Calm your nerves? Block out a sense of loneliness? Avoid life? Avoid living?

You see, my greenbelts, you can learn a lot from your friends. But you can learn even more from your adversaries. Your uninvited guests. You can learn about who you are and what you consider important, and figure out opportunities for growth. Take Tucker. There are things about him that might well infuriate you. He spends half the party sprouting one-liners. Annoying puns. Ten puns right in a row, hoping to make someone laugh, but none of the puns land — no pun intended. But if you have your own comedy routine you’re developing. Your own tight 5. He might just give you that one critique, that one stinging bit of criticism that none of your friends want to tell you about. If you’re open to that, you’re open to improving your delivery, your technique. Might be the best tip you ever got! And if not, if it’s just Tucker being crass, you breathe deep, allow the criticism to be there and come back to what’s important. Next time you’re on stage, you’re getting a heckler, you can allow the heckle to be there, and integrate it into the show.

So, and this is the challenge here… our aim is to let go of the attachment. Let go of the rigid expectation of what your life is supposed to be. For the party, maybe it’s best to focus on the values: of being engaged in your community. Even if that means sometimes hanging out with Tucker. To experience the good with the bad and to be open to it all.

This is a concept known as “befriending.” Acknowledging this guest as pretty annoying but a guest at your party who will come, stay awhile and leave on his own. If you drop your attachment as to who is here and why and how long is this nuisance gonna stick around, you’re less able to enjoy the present moment. To enjoy the laughter, the camaraderie.

And so it is with everything from anxiety, to depression, or obsessions, or pain. The work here is to drop the desire for control and focus on acceptance of these natural elements of life. The realization that by allowing these elements in your life, even welcoming them in as an essential part of life, they lose control over you. And you can be liberated to live your best life. To fully enjoy the party.

To better illustrate the red belt. To establish the theme of the red belt meditations, we turn to another staple of Southern California: Traffic.

I want you to imagine you’re in L.A., watching over two kids. Maybe your own kids, maybe your niece and nephews, it doesn’t really matter. You just spent the whole day showing them around LACMA, the tar pits, natural history museum. You’re driving up Fairfax, looking for dinner.

And you’ve got a value. What is that value? “I aspire to eat healthy for myself and those I love.” Right up the street, there’s the farmer’s market. Get a nice salad, some grilled chicken. A lovely, healthy dinner for you and the kids. What do the kids want? Pinks! Pinks hot dogs, right on Melrose. Just five minutes away, and about an hour sitting in line.

So now we see a little conflict going on. A little struggle. And here are the rules of the struggle. You’re the one driving. You control where the car goes. The kids in the back seat can’t control you. But they can get pretty loud. And time is not on your side. You got about 20 minutes before the farmer’s market closes assuming traffic cooperates and it never does. You know this. And the kids know this.

So what are these kids gonna do? Distract you. As soon as they figure out you’re going to the farmers market, for dinner, to get salad, they’re just gonna go nuts. They will complain. “You’re terrible. I don’t want a salad for dinner.” They will lie. “Mom lets us have hot dogs whenever we want. You’re ruining our vacation! We were promised Pinks!” They’ll do or say anything.

Now, If you pull over and argue with them, they’re actually winning. They want that. Because the farmer’s market is closing soon. And pink’s stays open pretty late into the night. They will say anything in the hopes that you’ll pull over and yell at them. Try and yank them out of the car.

If you try to ignore them, they’ll just yell at the top of their lungs. If you stick your fingers in your ears, your hands aren’t on the wheel. You’re just stuck on Fairfax. If you head over to the local dispensary, you’re really going to be late. And distracted, with your eyes closed.

If the kids are really clever, they’ll compliment you. “Look at you, you’re such a great person, going to that farmers market after a day of showing us around? We had so much fun with you. That was such an enormous rock!” You might pull over just to listen to their accolades! Maybe you deserve a little treat! The Brando Hot dog!

Your job, your mission, is to acknowledge the kids are there. And keep driving. Focus on your values and where you want to go. Allow the kids to be there, kicking and screaming. Understand that they are kids. Of course they want Pinks and will say anything to go there instead of the farmer’s market.

This will be tough to hear, but the trick is, you want to send those kids… love. You want to welcome them as part of your journey. Acknowledge that, yeah, there’s a part of you that wants to go there as well. Let the kids scream at times and understand that they will distract you. It’s nothing personal. They just want a hot dog. Of course, because they are kids! But each time coming back to your value, back to your vision.

Now, as you’re driving up Fairfax, that right turn into the parking lot, that’s an easy turn to miss. And Traffic on a Friday night is a nightmare. You might just miss the cutoff. In which the kids will whip out another handy strategy—rules! “You said no to Pinks because you wanted to go to the farmer’s market but now they’re closed. So you have to take us to Pinks. It’s late and we’re getting hungry.” Notice the rules. Notice the false dichotomy. Notice the panic.

You’re job here is to get some distance from the situation. Cool yourself down. That’s a rule you never agreed to, so you call a friend. You reach out for help. That friend says, “there is a Trader Joe’s right up the street. Go there. Don’t let those snot monsters run your life.” And so we see here that your goal may have to shift, but your value remains the same.

And sometimes, the kids can be useful. Maybe one of them is saying, “we can’t have salads, I’m allergic to nuts.” Well, good thing you were paying attention. No Waldorf salads. That’s actually helpful information.

And afterwards, once the kids have their salads and it’s not terrible. Maybe you get those little goblins salads and a cookie. The kids will settle down. And you are growing, you’re becoming more confident, you’re living your life aligned with your values. You dropped the struggle, accepted that the kids will be upset. But kept your attention on the road ahead.

What have we learned from the green belt? Spending time in the Sierras? That we have values. We have a vision of what we want our lives to be about. What we want to stand for. What have we learned from the orange belt? That those kids? The kids in the back seat? They aren’t the voice of truth. They are a part of you, yes. But they don’t control the steering wheel.

The red belt is about taking the wheel and driving in the direction of your values. Accepting that there will always be kids in the back. That they will scream from time to time. That this is a natural process. And is something you can be willing to take with you on your journey. We must learn to set up healthy boundaries. And be open to receiving help from others.

Red 03: Stories

And so, in the Southland, we have the metaphor of driving. Driving in the direction of your values and goals. From the green, you may have a vision. To have love in your life. From that, comes a value. How about: “I foster intimate relationships with other people.” And so, the goal for you might well be to go out and meet your special someone. That is your destination. That’s where you’re driving towards in your car.

In the backseat will be your kids. They represent the scars from your past. Your fears. They’ll say various things. “You’re not ready to start dating. You still gotta lose 20 more pounds. Your apartment is a mess. And you’re still just not confident. There are too many flaky people, it’s just not worth it.”

The rule here with dealing with your kids is the same. It’s important to listen to those kids. Maybe you do need to clean up your apartment. Hell, maybe you could stand to lose a few excess pounds.

But this is not a democracy. Oftentimes, statements like “I need to lose weight, I need to feel more confident, I need to be less anxious…” when the kids are saying this, it’s really just out of fear. I mean have you been to Venice Beach? Observe the number of people in worse shape than yourself, all with partners.

Or for job interviews. Maybe the kids in the backseat are saying: “you need to stay in this company at least 2 more years before thinking about applying someplace else.” Are the kids in the backseat saying that based on reality? Or fear? It’s often impossible to know for sure. Yet chatting with others, you’ll find those who have disregarded that rule and have done well.

When it comes to taking purposeful action, how often do we hear the “if” statements? I’ll go to the interview, if I feel confident enough. I’ll go on that date if I’m sure I won’t have any panic attacks.

You’re driving up Fairfax. You’re heading to the farmers market. But you need to pay attention. You tell the kids in the backseat of your car, “hey, quiet down and let me focus here. I want to make that salad, but I need to stop in the farmers market to get the ingredients. I’ll be able to do it if you guys keep quiet and don’t scream. Otherwise, I’ll miss the exit and we’ll end up at Pinks and we’ll just have hot dogs.”

What are the kids going to do? Scream!

If you live by the rule that you’ll go for the interview, go for the date, once you don’t have anxiety, what will your fear center do? Make you anxious. And every time you let the anxiety restrict your life, well your fear center reinforces itself. Hey, it’s kept you safe. Better lay on the fear next time. If you have fears of putting yourself out there, acting based upon those fears will simply reinforce them.

The more you listen to those kids in the backseat, the more you allow them to dictate when and where you drive, the louder they become. Then, the vision is lost. You lose that distinction between who is saying what. You may have the steering wheel, but the kids are in control.

And these kids, they get very creative. They sometimes don’t have to scream. They can simply construct a story.

Let’s take the classic story that comes with overeating. That when I was a kid, my mom made me eat everything on my plate. While that may be true, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re forced to overeat as an adult. You can take those same facts and mold them anyway you’d like.

After all, suppose someone grew up in a family where there was never enough to eat. Mom took your plate even before you were finished and gave it to your brother. That could lead you nowadays to over eat.

So we have the fact: “my mom made me eat everything on my plate”

And you can draw one conclusion: “Therefore, today I still overeat, I always finish my entire meal”

Or, possibly, the exact opposite conclusion: “Therefore, today, I kinda rebel against that, I allow myself to put half of my meal back in the fridge right away.

You can even take the reverse facts. “We never had enough to eat growing up. My mom would take the food in my plate and give it to my brother.”

Again: draw one conclusion: “Therefore, today I overeat, and I eat it very quickly so no one takes it.” Or: “To this day, I don’t eat as much as I should.”

So we see here there are facts about our past with very different ways to interpret things. A variety of stories. Some of these stories are helpful. They’re useful. But oftentimes, we need to distance ourselves from the stories. We need to see if these stories serve us. Do they help create a happy, productive life? Or do these stories just represent anxiety we need to work through?

You can think of these stories as like getting e-mail. We get a lot of useful e-mails each day, but also a bit of spam. And some get a lot of it. If you spend each day assuming that every email is true and requires your immediate attention, well, nothing would ever get done. At some point you train yourself, “these messages here are probably spam, they’re not really useful.”

And that’s the same process of mindfulness and your anxious thoughts. By creating a distance from your thoughts, your analysis, you get distance. A bird’s eye view. You’ll start to notice your own stories. You’ll notice which ones are helpful. And which ones are not.

That’s why you’ll be creating a distance from your thoughts. From your feelings -- when you breathe into them, hold space for them, you’re free to pick-and-choose how you want to respond.

So as you do the daily mindfulness, you’ll start to notice that some of the analysis, some of the thoughts, just aren’t that helpful for you. There can be stories, events in your past. Even if they’re true, they’re not something you have to carry with you.

For part of this process is to notice the stories, the rules that are oftentimes arbitrary, outdated, based upon tradition: peer pressure from dead people. And so in the red belt, we must cultivate the ability to move forward, with the anxiety. Allowing it to be there. But choosing to move in the direction of what’s important. What we value. That is why now that you have a vision of what you want in life, you gotta bring those kids in the backseat kicking and screaming to where you want to be. Allow them to be there, like that annoying party guest. Yet you stay focused on what’s important to you in your life.

Red 04: Willingness

Suppose you have two friends who both struggle with social anxiety. They both have an interview. One says, “Went well, I didn’t really feel that much anxiety at all.” That’s good. That’s nice to hear. But your other friend says, “Yeah, I did the interview. Was sitting there. Felt anxious. I breathed into it, allowed it to be there, and walked into the building. I noticed the anxiety. I labeled it, ‘that’s nervousness,’ and I focused on the situation. I focused on the person. I noticed a sense of curiosity, and went with it.” Who’s further ahead? Who would you rather be? That first friend could have just been a fluke. Maybe the interview was with an old friend. Maybe the friend popped a Xanax. All you know is that at that moment, anxiety wasn’t a factor.

But is that what is ultimately important? To have no anxiety? To have no depression? Is it not more reassuring to have some anxiety, to allow it to be there, and to move forward?

What would happen in a future interview? An interview of exceptional importance? And anxiety pops up? Maybe it’s better to stick with the job you have. Maybe it’s better to just get more experience where you’re at now. Interview when you’re ready. Maybe when your anxiety is better under control.

Remember the difference between “but” and “and.” I wanted to go on that date ‘But’ I felt anxious. So I bailed. Went home. Watched ‘90-day-fiance.’” End of story. Not exactly moving towards your values. We can shift that towards “And”; observe what happens. “I wanted to go on that date ‘And’ I felt anxious. So I centered myself, I breathed into the anxiety, I labeled it, I made room for it. When the date arrived, I noticed as the anxiety came and went. I placed my awareness on being curious, mindful, passionate.

That is what we are looking for in the red belt. Willingness. Willingness to move forward with your goals, bringing the anxiety along with you. Allowing it to be part of the process. Accepting that, yeah, interviews, dates, hell, daily living in the southland brings with it a certain level of anxiety and maybe that’s part of the experience.

Remember the orange belt: the fitness analogy. When we do mindfulness, when we do meditation, we are giving your judgment muscles a break. We’re focusing on observing, detaching, flexibility. Doing those exercises and facing those challenges means you’re now better able to go out there and feel anxious, while at the same time choosing to also feel mindful, passionate, curious.

Many choose to embark upon this path, mindfulness, psychedelic therapy, with the dream of living a life free of depression free of anxiety. Does this ever work out? Nope. It’s all a trap. It’s all avoidance. Remember, no amount of meditation, or therapy or self-help program will ever completely eliminate anxiety. Drugs taken to excess to dull anxiety also tend to dull life. And they have to be taken again and again often in increasing doses until the drugs themselves become their own source of stress and anxiety.

When you dull yourself of negative feelings, you deny yourself an often important signal that something may be wrong. Anxiety often times has useful information. If your date, out of nowhere says, hey, let’s meet at this seedy biker bar around midnight right off of Cahuenga blvd, maybe that’s a time when a panic attack is appropriate.

And so, and this is the tough part. Rather than just merely tolerate the anxieties and even the traumas of relationships, you’ll want to embrace that. You want to be willing to experience both the good and the bad, the stressful and mundane elements in the service of your goals and values.

Imagine a young girl who normally has a bit of a panic attack before a date but popped a pill, went on a date and just felt calm and relaxed. That’s a nice, short term win. What if there was no real chemistry? If she goes on a different date, there might be a panic attack. So it might just be easier to stick with what you know, who you’re comfortable with. You do want kids. You should probably bring that up relatively early in the relationship. But how disappointed would you be if he said he didn’t want kids? Do you really want to go back to those dating apps?

And then there are the red flags. None of your friends really like him. But how awkward would it be to end things now? Maybe he did mention wanting kids! Still don’t have much in common. You don’t really trust him. But if you squint your eyes you could see how you could make it work!

Lots of people say communication is the key to healthy relationships. I’d add a few words to that. Awkward communication is the key to healthy relationships. Even better, willingness to have an awkward communication is the key to healthy relationships. Are you willing to have that awkward first date communication? Are you willing to have that awkward conversation about kids and the future early on in the relationship? If it doesn’t work, can you have that awkward conversation to end things? Cut the cord? Let’s say the relationship seems to be going well, yet something your new partner does bugs the crap out of you. Are you willing to have that awkward conversation now to give your partner time to adjust the behavior? Or are you going to avoid it until it gets so bad you’re pulling your hair out? So that your partner doesn’t really have much time to make any adjustments?

And this goes double for your career. You can drop 100 grand on law school, study for a year to pass the bar. Your career will still rest on your ability to have that awkward conversation setting and enforcing boundaries for your clients, your willingness to hone your speaking ability at a local toastmasters, your willingness to join a group or leave one based on your values.

That’s at odds with the traditional goal of therapy, which is that of symptom reduction. To lower your level of anxiety, lower your level of depression so that you can then achieve your personal goals. Yet most progression in life necessarily involves anxiety and some level of sadness. So at some point, it’s important to measure success not by symptom reduction but by how much we’re living in accordance upon our values. One of the many reasons we do not consider this a therapy program.

Now, that’s not to say that you would need to purposely manifest anxiety or depression. If you’re in L.A. looking to get into the industry and you have a fear of auditions you can certainly pace yourself. Maybe one audition a week, just to start. Or just focus on auditions that involve singing, not dancing, if you’re not quite a triple threat. Just notice what the kids in the backseat are saying. “We can do this audition if there’s not much anxiety, if we won’t get too depressed if we never hear back from anyone.” Because if that is the rule, guess what will show up in your life?

And so with these kids in the back seat, you don’t have to torture them. You don’t have to go to an audition each afternoon and a blind date each night. But don’t let those kids dictate where you can and cannot go on your route to your values. Pace yourself. Make slow yet steady progress. Just be willing to bring those kids kicking and screaming along with you. Don’t hate them, or waste time wishing they weren’t there. Realize that, maybe that’s what life is about. Moving in the direction of your values, embracing the emotions both good and bad, as part of the process. Judging your day-to-day life not based upon what you’re feeling, but the progress you’re making in crafting a healthy, well-balanced life.

Red 05: Holding Patterns

If we imagine every part of your body — every function — as a worker we can think of the two kids in the back as your secret service agents. Their primary role is to keep you safe. And generally, the easiest way for them to do your job is for you to be totally and completely safe. Imagine you’re the secret service agent to a VIP. The King of England. You don’t want him going out. Risking some assassin or just a bad accident. If it was up to you, you’d keep him at his residence where it’s nice and safe. Where you’re in complete control.

Likewise, your kids in the back seat worry each time you leave your residence, your comfort zone. They have a very good memory. From way back when you were a kid, being teased in elementary school. Or rejected in middle school. As far as the kids are concerned it’s always better to play it safe, to follow the tried and true patterns of yesteryear even if that means an unfulfilled life. For your values, your true purpose in life, is not their concern. It is, again, simply to keep you safe. Keep you protected.

And so these kids will employ all kinds of techniques to keep you in a holding pattern. They’ll yell and holler when you think of doing something different, going too far out of your comfort zone. Often, their influence will be very subtle. Part of the purpose of mindfulness is to begin to notice the patterns that, at first glance, appear to be helpful — but with some reflection, you begin to notice how these patterns can keep you stuck.

Perhaps the most potent holding pattern is using alcohol. Instead of enjoying a glass of wine with a nice meal and friends, you’re drinking after a stressful day to cope with loneliness. Or drinking until you’re finally ready to talk to a stranger.

But, the same goes for excessive gaming. In modest amounts there really is no difference between spending 10 hours a week gaming vs. 10 hours a week watching sports vs. 10 hours a week streaming. The question is: as a result of this, are you in a holding pattern? Is this a substitute for fulfilling the values that are important to you?

Some people, often those who have trauma in their past will engage in what is essentially maladaptive daydreaming. Spending hours each week in their head living as if their big project was complete. Or just living as if that status was already there. Getting a sense of pleasure and reward while staying — once again — in that holding pattern.

If this rings a bell for you, you really want to ask yourself: Are some of these activities getting in the way of what is important in life? Are some of these activities designed to make you think you’re getting ahead when they’re really just keeping you stuck? Are you spending most of your time waiting to feel better before you can then start your life?

Or we can ask the most basic question: are you lonely? There is a devastating downward spiral that happens with loneliness and depression. A vicious cycle. You start off lonely. You go on a dating app, where you see the profile of your ex. You become sad — maybe even a little depressed. To manage those feelings you stay away from the dating apps. But not going out there, you miss out on opportunities to meet people, to experience positive emotions. To cope, you tell yourself. “Everyone’s a flake anyway.” And even worse: “I’ll make a profile when I’m feeling better.” Because you’re not making a profile, there’s no opportunities to question and disprove your assumptions. More loneliness, more depression.

The depression zaps away the energy needed to do things that could really make you feel better and those two kids in the back convince you that a) you need to feel better to get started on those activities and b) those things aren’t going to help you feel better anyway -- so why bother?

The way out is through mindfulness. To see those kids in the back seat as scars from the past that are actively keeping you in a holding pattern. But they don’t control the steering wheel. You may not feel the motivation to get up and be active. But if you wait for the motivation to be there, you might get stuck for a long time.

And so there comes a time to construct a new story -- to process old hurts, old memories, old scars so that we may rewrite your narrative.

In the next section, we will begin the psycholytic process. A lower dose of ketamine, which can be very helpful in breaking free of these holding patterns we find ourselves in.

In preparation for this process, I want you to engage in the red meditations. Start with the intro. Go through each one, then, from each day forward, pick one to do. Don’t skimp on the difficult ones. You can find the meditations at, you guessed it, Pentabelt.com/meditations.

And also, start the red mindfulness. What does that involve? In the orange, the mindfulness focus is on the body. In green, it’s in nature. In red, it’s interacting with others.

Pick a time when you’re interacting with others. Maybe you visit a coffee spot each day? Maybe you walk to and from campus? During that walk, bring your fingers and thumb together, as demonstrated in the meditations. Your index and middle fingers should both touch your thumb. This can be quite discreet and will help keep you mindful.

As you walk, challenge yourself to make eye contact with people. Practice sending a sense of acceptance to them, well-being, understanding. If any feelings come up, delve! Use the green! Notice where the feelings are in your body. Give them a color and a shape, breathe into them.

Use the fingers to bring yourself back to center. Back to source, if you will. Practice standing and walking straight -- shoulders up, shoulders back, shoulders down. As if you were someone confident, as if you were a professor, a judge, a producer. Do you get odd feelings doing this? Practice noticing those feelings and again, breathing into them. But continue to walk.

Remember the orange! Set alerts and reminders to do this on a daily basis. Learning to center yourself will be a set of crucial skills on the road ahead, as we develop and refine your story, your narrative for yourself and your future.

Up next, we begin the process.

Red 06: All You Need is Attention

Part 1: All you need is attention

Think back to the orange belt, with Alto talking about the fire of trauma. Trauma is inevitable. An unavoidable part of childhood. The judgments, the blames, all serve to keep that fire going, like logs we keep feeding into. To extinguish that flame, we must simply set a time to feel and explore those underlying feelings. To revisit the trauma so we can reframe the experience, so we can see it in context. That way, we can learn on a deep level that what happened was then, and this is now. That you were just a kid, or that what happened wasn’t fair, wasn’t right, that you didn’t deserve it, that you’re not the awful person you think you are.

And for that, all you need… is attention. Let’s say you have a fear of flying. You place yourself in virtual reality, on an airplane. You focus on what you see, what you hear. Being in that airplane, hearing the sounds of the engine. During this, you relax yourself. Deep breathing, muscle relaxation. But your attention is on board, on that airplane. Pretty soon, the relaxation is paired with and diminishes the fear response. Some cognitive restructuring, just remembering that flying is safe. That you’re safe. That you can breathe through your anxiety. Next thing you know, you’re good to go!

The same process can work with trauma, with difficult memories, usually from our childhood, which keeps us from acting in accordance with our true values. For you see, my green belts, it is this trauma that keeps us from seeking what truly makes us happy. And that then leads to depression and anxiety down the line. Target the trauma, act on your values, your confidence will grow and you can build peace and connection in your life.

And so most therapies out there that focus on trauma use these three key elements. A way of grounding yourself so you feel centered. That’s element one. Element two, a means of drawing your attention to the distressful memory. And element three, a focus on a healthier interpretation of what happened.

And that’s it! It really just is about focused attention. Some therapies will add on things. It’s known as purple hat therapy. You take the fundamentals, add something to it, and sell it as a package. As if you were doing a procedure but wearing a fancy purple hat and then selling that hat as part of the process, though you really don’t need the hat at all. EMDR might just be an example of this. It has the three elements. They’ve added the eye movements, but it turns out the techniques can work just as well without the eye movements. Don’t get me wrong, EMDR has proven itself a valid treatment. Just that it may work equally well without the B.S., or bilateral stimulation.

What makes ketamine therapy special is that it seems to enhance all three elements. First, you’re feeling generally good, actually very relaxed. So it’s easier to draw attention to the difficult memory. At the same time, with a lower dose, you’re able to stay centered. And actually, explore more of the memory. You’re able to feel more, yet remain in a safe place. Finally, you’re able to connect more with the healthier interpretation. It just becomes easier to forgive yourself.

So we’ll be exploring the lower dose. Or what we call in the business, the psycholytic dose.

Part 2: The Psycholytic Dose

With a high dose of a psychedelic substance, such as with 4 grams of magic mushrooms, or high dose IV ketamine infusion, you’re off into the universe. You’re transcending space and time. Hopefully, you’re also getting in touch with your values, your place in the world. You’re reconnecting with yourself and healing old wounds. But you’re not really present. There’s no dialogue going on with you and your therapist. So beforehand, you set an intention. What you’d like to explore, knowing that something else entirely may come up instead, which then provides a healing path.

With Psycholytic therapy, you’re taking a smaller dose. Or you’re using a substance like MDMA, when it’s legal and available here in the Golden State. You’re not going to feel normal, you’re not going to feel sober, but you are able to be present. The therapist can draw your attention to certain things and you’re able to engage with it. And in that engagement, you’re able to process things in a direct manner. Think of it like a zone of tolerance. Oftentimes, we barely want to think of a difficult memory. It’s not tolerable. With a good, psycholytic dose, the zone of tolerance can be expanded. More of the memory can be explored from a place of calmness and safety. And in this zone, we can get some perspective. Adopt a healthier viewpoint.

A lot of good work can occur. Don’t ever fall for the idea that because a small dose of psychedelics was helpful, twice the dose will result in twice the gains. And certainly don’t fall for peer pressure to take more than what you’re comfortable taking. Remember the White Belt.

Now, even with a small dose, it’s important to have some flexibility. You may want to focus on one memory, only for a different memory to pop up instead. Or with the target memory, a connection to some other event suddenly comes to fruition. We’re letting the medicine do its job. Just in the process, a gentle nudging, a gentle directing, to the difficult memories that block our progress, that block our values.

And so we turn to the Transformer Process, where we use a psycholytic dose to set an intention, for attention.

Part 3: The Transformer Process

Can you believe it? The transformer process involves 5 steps! It is my mission here to assist you with each step. Because this belt has its base in the Southland, in the home of Tinseltown, I will be taking 5 different Hollywood roles to help you along this path. Here are the different steps in the transformer process and the role I’ll be assuming.

Step 1: Notice your missing value. I’ll be your producer, here to help you find what’s missing in your life. You’ve explored in the green your values, what you want your life to be about. Well, when you look at your life, what do you think is missing? As part of this process, a memory may come up. A difficult memory, a harsh memory. Which leads us to the next step.

Step 2: Write out your trauma narrative. Each and every person out there has some trauma. Some memory of humiliation, or of rejection, or of betrayal. A memory that now prevents us from living the type of life we’d like. And so we must explore that memory by writing it out. Writing what happened and how that memory affects us today. Not the easiest thing in the world to do. But very helpful for the transformation. And so I will be your screenwriter in this process.

Step 3: The editor! We reshape the story. Was it really all your fault? Or were you just a kid at the time? Because this event happened, does that really mean you’re not good enough, that you’re broken, or that you can’t trust people? Here we examine what the kids in the backseat have been saying and we provide a response! We add some healthier, more realistic statements. We add the statements you’d like to believe, even if they don’t quite ring true yet.

Step 4: The Director. This is where the psycholtic ketamine session occurs. It’s similar to the psychedelic dose, but much lower. At a particular point in the session, your attention will be directed to the narrative, to the story. You’ll breathe into the feelings. Notice them there. Allow them to be there. The intention here is to have that cathartic release — to break free, to extinguish the fire.

Step 5: In our final step, we have the actor. As you integrate what you’ve learned, what you’ve processed, there will be a gentle yet firm push to go out there. To take action. Even if you do kinda just feel like you’re acting. Remember, you are in the red. Every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you’re shedding metaphorical blood — you’re earning your red belt! That’s right — the ketamine therapy itself is designed to be gentle. But afterwards, that’s where we crack the whip.

For although ships are safe in their harbor, that’s not what they’re built for.

Plenty of people have amazing journeys of self-discovery with ketamine and other substances. But there needs to be action, there needs to be movement out of the comfort zone to build the life you want in your adulthood. Keep in mind that you’re never quite ready for what you have to do, you just do it. That makes you ready.

We have our fitness analogy. Let’s say you come in due to a damaged leg. Through physical therapy and training we begin the healing process. At some point, we need to go out in the field. We need to touch grass, just to see how you do. Are you able to walk? Run? As issues come up, we can go back and make adjustments.

Keep in mind that in the psycholytic process, you can engage in this process quite a few times. You may only do the psychedelic process two or three times. The psycholytic process can occur 6 to 8 times, or more as needed. So as you go out there — as you go out into the field — we can process the blocks and barriers that come up, as you begin to act on your values.

And so let us begin, in the next section, we explore the first roles of producer and writer.

Red 07: Writing Your Story

In this section, we come up with the content for your upcoming psycholytic journey. We’re going to focus on a missing value. Something that’s missing in your life. We’ll then tie it to a difficult memory from the past. Usually they are related. A difficult memory, especially from childhood, will often lead to avoidance later on, which stifles our values and the life we want to live. Processing these memories can free you from the hold they have so you can build the type of life you’re seeking in adulthood. And remember, again, that the purpose of the ketamine therapy is to help expand your window of tolerance. I know it can be tough to explore past hurts. But with the grounding techniques you’ve learned in the Orange and Green belts and with the help of the medicine, you’ll be surprised with what you can explore from a place of safety. Our aim here is to revisit the past, not relive it. We’ll notice the negative, add some positive, and encourage a sense of peace and acceptance. Okay. So let’s begin!

Step 1: Notice Your Missing Value

We start as the producer. Our aim here is a complete life. A fulfilling life. To that end, we must focus on what’s missing in your life. Through the green belt, you’ve explored your values, what’s important to you. Well, when you look back on your values from the green belt, what stands out as something that’s been ignored? Or put on the back burner?

During that belt, you either spent time outdoors, or going inward with the assistance of Ketamine Therapy. Well, through that experience, what came up as something? Perhaps love? Connection? Spending more time in nature? With your pets? With your loved ones?

What would you like to call yourself? A writer? Artist? A good friend? A good partner? And yet maybe there hasn’t been much movement in that direction. The missing value may be self-expression. Or the missing value may be love or connection.

And so that is our first step in this process. At our homepage, pentablet.com/red, please find the “Transformer Worksheet.” Both the blank one you’ll use and the example one to see a completed one.

In that, in the very first section where it says “missing value,” enter that missing value. That’s step one -- The reason we’re here.

If you don’t really feel you have a missing value, you can always focus on confidence, assertiveness, or connection. As we continue this process, you may find that a value pops up or perhaps even changes. Feel free to have this value as a placeholder for now. For now, if you don’t have anything, place “connection.” We could all use more connection!

Step 2: Find Your Troubling Memory

Often times, when we think back, we can often find a core memory from our early years as a source of this “missing value.” Take a moment to center yourself. Notice your body, breathe into any tension you’re having. As you reflect on your value, can you think of a childhood memory where you felt embarrassed? Or neglected? Or unsafe?

You don’t have to pick your absolute worst memory. And if your absolute worst memory involves significant abuse, it’s better to follow these steps directly with a therapist. For right now, for our first run, it’s okay to work with a memory that’s fairly negative. Maybe not the absolute worst, but a memory that sticks in your head.

Perhaps a memory of not working hard enough, and being shamed for it? Or a time when you were yelled at? Or excluded? Generally, memories from your childhood will have more of an impact than memories from when you were older. Sometimes there will be a memory where you don’t feel a lot about it, but you remember it, and the memory wasn’t a pleasant one. That can work as well.

Really, any memory that may have taught you that you have to act in a certain way in order to be loved. Or that people can’t be trusted. Or that you were just treated unfairly. You can also focus on events. A divorce? The loss of a friendship? Your first rejection? All good candidates.

The memory doesn’t have to directly contribute to the missing value. After all, any negative memory can lead to avoidance, which then usually results in anxiety and depression. And that will diminish any value there is. However, if you’d like, if you’re so inclined, you can always change the value you’d like to better reflect the memory you’d like to work with.

Once you have your value and your target memory, we begin the next step!

Step 3: Write What Happened

For your next step in the worksheet, you’ll be writing a sentence or two about what happened. Just the facts -- an objective statement about what happened. Usually about 2 to 5 sentences. So, let’s say you were rejected from your friend group at a young age. Your statements may be: “When I was a young kid, my group of friends all decided they didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. I was told to go home and find someone else to play with. When I cried to my mother, she told me to toughen up and left to go shopping.”

Okay, so check in with yourself. Notice whatever you’re feeling and remember the orange! Allow it to be there. Notice those feelings, we’ll be adding them soon. For now, we go to the next step:

Step 4: Add The Judgments.

Pretend that you’re in grade school and a kid is judging you. The kids in the backseat! What would they be saying? Maybe, “I shouldn’t have taken those screenshots. I was such a stupid kid.” Be extra judgmental! You could write, “I tried so much to fit in, but they saw right through me, they saw how much of a poser I was.”

Then we turn to judgments about the world, or other people. What harsh lessons have you learned about who you can trust? Who you can rely upon? You could write, “I was really sad, and my mother wasn’t there. People around me can just decide I’m annoying and leave, at any time. The only person I can rely upon is myself. I have to really watch myself to make sure I don’t do something stupid.”

Some real harsh judgments. Don’t skimp on the curse words. Our aim is for authenticity here. Write the judgments as they float around in your head.

Step 5: Add the Feelings

We have the event. We have the judgments. Next we add the feelings. And where you feel them in your body. So, right off the bat, in this example you’re likely to feel a sense of shame. And pretty isolated. So you might write, “I feel so embarrassed, really ashamed of myself. I feel this in my chest.” Or, “I just remember feeling so alone, with a feeling in my stomach.”

If no feelings come up, it might just be because you’ve dissociated somewhat from the memory. But chances are that memory is in your head for a reason. If a friend of yours had to guess what emotions you likely felt at the time, write out those likely emotions. And for where you feel them, you can also guess that. So you can write, “I may have felt really lonely, and I might feel those emotions in my heart, in my chest.”

Next, we turn to the consequences.

Step 6: Add avoidance.

Look back at the value. How might this memory keep you from living that value? If you aspire to be a performer, yet you have a memory of being rejected as a kid, it might make sense to avoid performing, putting yourself out there, being different, right? So you might write, “I moved all the way out here, yet I don’t go to any actual auditions.” Or, “I avoid sharing my feelings with others.” Or, “I think I avoid connecting with people, sharing who I really am.”

Avoidance comes in all forms! I want to date — but first, I have to lose 20 pounds. I want to go to the grocery store, but only if it’s not too crowded. I’ll go to the audition, once I’m a bit more confident and not so anxious. It’s all avoidance. Even being the person who makes all the jokes. In making these jokes, what are you hoping to avoid? Them seeing you for who you are? So you might write, “I avoid being my authentic self, sharing who I really am.”

So by now, you should have somewhere between 5 and 15 statements. This is good! Good work! I know it can be hard to explore a difficult memory. But this is all part of your growth process.

In the next section, we’ll focus on the positive. A healthy reinterpretation as we edit this script.

Red 08: Editing Your Story

In the last section, we wrote a few statements about a troubling memory or event. Something to process for the psycholytic journey. Now, we have a chance to revise that story. Add some more compassionate, more realistic statements. Our aim here is to empower you. To free you from the rigid beliefs from the past so you can begin to act in the service of your values. Let’s begin -- look back on the worksheet. We’ll be adding a few more sentences, in the “reframe” section.

Part 1: You’re Probably Judging Yourself Too Harshly.

Look back on the statements you made. Notice the judgments you have towards yourself. Ask yourself, “what would a good friend say?” Suppose you did something embarrassing. Are you the only one who does something that’s cringeworthy? Something embarrassing. Suppose you were assaulted. You know what most people do when exposed to something traumatic? They freeze up! It’s a natural response. You may have time now to ruminate — to imagine what you should have done, or could have done. You may not have had that luxury at the time. Or did you make a decision when you were younger, less experienced, or depressed, or traumatized? So in your statement write, “I’m being too harsh towards myself…” and then finish that sentence. Even if you don’t quite believe it. That’s okay. Write down that sentence or two about how you’re being harsh or judgmental towards yourself.

Part 2: You’re Probably Also Judging the World too Harshly

Often we take lessons we learned as kids as the gospel truth. In the example, we have judgmental friends and an unresponsive mother. But that was in middle school. Are all people like middle schoolers? Well, many are. But are they all? If you bomb an audition, if you lose your job, will everyone you know suddenly make fun of you and reject you? Your mother was going through something, and wasn’t really paying attention to you when you needed her. Maybe she was going through a depression. Is everyone unresponsive like her?

Because look. When you’re a kid, you have a very small sample size of people. Often just your immediate family and neighborhood kids. Unfortunately, that often forms the basis of who everyone is and what everyone expects. Your parents may have pushed you for straight A’s. To be perfect. And so you may have had to be perfect to survive. But now that strategy no longer really works. It’s no longer functional. And yeah, other kids will pick on the weirdo. That’s what kids do. But now it’s the weirdo that stands out. Usually the one who ends up getting selected in the audition.

Sure, some people are going to judge you. Some people just plain won’t like you. You can have a farm making the best peaches in town, and there will be some people who just don’t like peaches. The secret may well be to find your people. And the first step in that is to acknowledge they exist. So now, write a second statement that reflects how you may have judged others. You could write, “It’s okay to do an audition well. My friends will still support me.” Or, “My mother just didn’t understand what I was going through.” Or even, “Other people aren’t like my mother, it’s okay to open up.”

Part 3: You’re Stronger Than You Give Yourself Credit For

Here’s the secret for a successful rewrite. Do not focus on affirmations that are pure fantasy. Let’s say your value is performing. Don’t write statements like, “I can go to any audition and feel only confidence.” Or if your value is connection, you might be tempted to write out, “If a guy isn’t interested in me, it won’t bother me at all.”

Because, my dear Green Belt, the purpose here is not to feel only positive and great but to realize you are strong enough to feel all emotions, both positive and negative. If you go to an audition, you may well feel some jitters. Ditto for your first date. You know what? Maybe that’s part of the process. Maybe that’s part of life. Don’t focus on making the world easy, focus on keeping yourself strong. So for an audition, you might write, “When I go to an audition, I might feel anxious, and that’s okay. I can allow those emotions to come and go.” Or you may have a statement, “I might get ghosted, and it will suck, and I will survive, just like everyone else.” This leads us to our final part.

Part 4: Bring Those Kids Kicking and Screaming To Your Destination

Remember the kids in the backseat. As you move towards your values, as you move towards manifesting the life you want to live, expect some pushback. You have scars. And they will scream bloody murder at first as you break out of your comfort zone. As you earn your red belt. Make room for this. It is the great Socrates who stated,

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but in building the new.”

So here we give yourself permission to move forward and act on your values. So first write what you hope to process. “I’m processing the fear and the judgment.” Then allow yourself to feel them going forward: “it’s okay to feel these things as I move forward.” So again, don’t try and eliminate your scars. Self-confidence is about accepting yourself, warts and all. Do you experience depression? You can write, “I can feel depressed and that’s okay. I can always at least go to the park, take a shower, or knit something and that can help me feel better.”

So with this, you should have several statements from a difficult event from your past, which we covered in the last section. And you should now have a few statements you’d at least like to believe, even if they don’t quite feel true for you. That’s where the transformer process comes in, which we explore in the next section.

Red 09: The Psycholytic Transformer Process

This is it! The transformer process. Here we will be using the psycholytic dose, a dose smaller than the psychedelic dose of the green belt. Instead of swishing 400 to 800 milligrams of ketamine, the dose is 100 milligrams. Instead of swishing for 12 to 15 minutes, you’ll be swishing closer to 10 minutes. Maybe even a bit less than that.

The goal is to be able to remain present and to have a dialogue, while being in a somewhat non-ordinary state. In this state, it’s easier to gain new insight, gain a new perspective. You’ll be able to better feel the emotions of whatever you’re working on, without getting overwhelmed. Again, the goal is to revisit an event from your past, not relive it. The grounding techniques your therapist provides will greatly help you stay present and the medicine will help extend the “zone of tolerance.” So you’ll be able to feel safe and feel open to the experience.

The first role in this process was the producer, noticing something missing in your life. A missing value! Next we have the writer, writing about a childhood incident that may have contributed to this missing value. We then edit, adding some statements for a more healthy and adaptive interpretation. Now, finally, we are at the “director” stage.

During the psycholytic journey, your therapist will be directing your attention to the statements you’ve written. You’ll be encouraged to stay with any feelings that come up. From this, you can gain a new perspective, a new insight. The harsh judgments will soften and the edits you provided in the last section will seem more real, more believable.

So let’s get into the preparation! The psycholytic process is somewhat different than the psychedelic, so let’s explore the steps to take and what will occur during your session.

Part 1: Preparation for the Psycholytic

As with the psychedelic session, you’ll be checking your blood pressure before and after the event. So make sure you have the blood pressure cuff. You’ll also need the medicine, again, just the 100mg dose. You’ll need the chaperone, though the psycholytic process is generally shorter, so the entire process might take only 60 to 90 minutes. You will want to avoid eating a few hours before the event and follow the same rules for other medications. Again, review the notes from the medical appointment.

You will likely not need eye shades, nor headphones. You’ll be sitting but will engage in meditation, so make sure where you’re seated is comfortable for that process. And of course, use a voice recorder app to record any insights after the session. Sometimes writing is a bit difficult after a psycholytic session.

Finally, make sure your therapist has the list of statements you made in the last two sections. And with that, let’s go over what to expect.

Part 2: Starting the Process

We focus first on the white. Ensure that this is right for you. That you feel safe and comfortable to proceed. That you’re doing this for your own reasons. To grow, to heal your past, to build resilience, to live a life of valued living. With your therapist, you’ll go over intentions. You’ll set an “intention of attention.” To focus on a particular event, with the understanding that other events might come up, that different statements might come up, and, hopefully, new insights will be explored.

Then, once intentions are set, you’ll begin swishing. Again, much less time than in the psychedelic space. Maybe 6, 8, or 10 minutes. Maybe a bit less, maybe a bit more.

As you are swishing, the current protocol is to focus on the green! With your eyes closed, placing yourself on the bank of a river. Noticing the thoughts and feelings that come up, placing them on the river. Allowing them to float by. We are reminding ourselves that thoughts and feelings come and go. Underneath that we have our values, what’s important to us. We are allowing the thoughts and feelings to flow, observing them from a safe distance on the side of the river. Allowing them to come, stay a bit, then float away.

Then as you spit out the medicine, we turn to the orange. A calming body scan. At the low dose, the ketamine experience generally feels pleasant. We seek to amplify these feelings by directing your attention to it. You’ll spend a few minutes just in your body. Noticing how you feel. Staying centered. Staying connected.

Part 3: The Transformer Process

Then, we turn to the red. During this process, the therapist will read some or all of the statements. All you’ll need to do is listen, breathe into the emotion and say — or think — “aham.” Notice the emotions, the sensations, the judgments that come up. See if you can hold them gently. See if you can notice a shift in your perspective.

Different statements may come up! If you feel ready, verbalize those statements. Use the phrase “aham” as you breathe into the emotion.

You may notice a new connection to a different event or memory may pop up. A connection you may not have even noticed. Go with it! As long as you don’t get distracted from something deeper. If you notice yourself avoiding something, see if you can challenge that avoidance just a bit. See if you can stretch your comfort zone just a bit. Your therapist will guide you in this process.

Then finally we do a brief ritual where we allow the scars to be there. You’re driving to where you want to be in life. We take a moment to notice the kids in the backseat. The scars that occasionally say something fearful, judgmental, harsh. We respond to that with love and understanding. As if you are sending a beam of light, of understanding and love, to those kids in the backseat. And then, taking them along for the ride, we bring our attention back to where you’re headed in life. To living the life you want to be living. To applying the insights you’ve gained during the session. Towards getting up and living your life with intention and purpose.

Part 4: The Smooth Ending

We end the process with measuring your blood pressure yet again and discussing what came up. You may want to record a few messages to yourself. Remember, you may have a stronger voice, a more reassuring voice. Recording that may help you along your journey. Something to listen to in the next few days to guide you as you apply what you’ve learned here.

And you’ll discuss just that with your therapist. What you’ve experienced, what you’ve learned, and any insights that came up during the session. You’ll set small action steps to take in the next few days to really take advantage of that neuroplasticity.

Remember, as with the psychedelic journey, the psycholytic process is quite flexible. You may find one part helpful, your therapist may make some adjustments based upon your goals or intentions. This is all a pretty new science here. The process may adjust a bit, especially with the development of the Pentaverse. What is unlikely to change though is the final part.

Part 5: A Call for Action

Again, as with the psychedelic process, you don’t want to make any significant or permanent changes right after a psycholytic session. Give yourself time to reflect. Give yourself time to talk with others, especially your therapist.

Having said that, now is the time to practice what you’ve learned and see if you can challenge your comfort zone a bit. If you’ve been agoraphobic, and if you spend virtually all your time in your apartment, now is the time to see how it feels, perhaps going to the corner market in the morning. Not necessarily signing up for Burning Man. Remember, you can build your life with small, steady steps.

Practice surfing the waves of addiction. What would it feel like to skip a day of gaming? Or, how might it feel to practice saying “yes” or setting boundaries and saying “no”? Remember, green belt, ambition without action turns into anxiety. Challenge yourself to start that project even if the steps are small. Even if it’s just a ceremonial beginning.

For if you start a project now, challenges will certainly come up. Yet you’ll have more sessions in front of you to tackle them. To address the fears of success, the fears of failure. You have these tools available for you to help you along your journey. Use them.

And in these future sessions, you may find yourself ready to address deeper, perhaps more distressing memories. As you gain confidence in the psycholytic process, you may notice the memory that you push away. The memory that you may have convinced yourself that’s not a “big deal” but that others would consider quite significant. With your therapist guiding you, processing this memory may bring you that catharsis, that therapeutic cry, you’ve been needing all this time. That sense of forgiveness for yourself and others that you’ve always needed to put the past behind you, to build strength & resilience for the future.

You may also notice emotions coming up in the days and weeks ahead. This is a natural and normal process. You’re making new connections. Old memories may come up. Use the techniques. Notice the feelings, breathe into them, allow them to be there. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Give yourself space to feel the emotions -- just takes a few minutes. Come back to center. Notice the feeling of lightness. Notice the weight being lifted off your shoulders.

Your therapist may in future sessions adjust the length of time you’ll be swishing the ketamine. The goal here is to go deep enough to experience a shift in your perception without being so deep that you can’t focus on the overall process. So if you were not able to focus on the therapist or the narrative, you may need to swish for a shorter period of time. Maybe 6 minutes instead of 8. On the other hand, if you didn’t really feel all that different from your normal self, if you really didn’t connect with the emotions or the memory, you may need to swish for a longer period of time. Perhaps up to 10 or 12 minutes.

As with everything, communication is key. Discuss with your therapist how the session went for you. Talk about what was helpful or what you’d like to adjust. Communicate how you felt about the dosage and what you’d like to work on in future sessions.

And so, that’s the process! In the next section of the Red Belt, we turn to action. See you there!

Red 10: Acting on Your Values

Now is the time to earn your red belt. To push yourself out of your comfort zone. Let’s review the metaphors. Suppose before you hit the gym you get a steroid injection. Not really advised, but let’s just say it happens. You’re used to lifting a certain amount of weight. After the injection, you lift the exact same weight, for the exact number of repetitions. What will your results be? Not much! You might not even notice the effects of the steroids until you challenge yourself. You add weights. But safety first — let’s not overdo it. But a few more pounds, for a few more reps. That’s when you start to see results.

Very similar to the after-effects of ketamine therapy, though I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that, unlike certain steroids, ketamine appears to be pretty safe for the body when used as directed!

After a psychedelic or psycholytic session, often people feel pretty good. They feel lighter. Their depression, their anxiety seems to lift. Great news! But we’re here for more than that. We’re here to build a meaningful life. A life you can be happy with. A life you can be proud of. So the point of this belt is to push you to take small, value-driven actions to start building that life. You’ll likely notice that it’s easier than before. That’s the true power of this therapy here. When you realize that life hasn’t necessarily gotten easier, but that you’ve become stronger. That is what I’m here to show you.

Remember the other metaphor, that of the Serengeti. There can be endless debates about where to find the wildebeest when it’s time for hunting. So they designate someone to throw sticks in the air, decide a path, and start moving.

You’ve spent time in the green belt reflecting upon your values. Well, Green Belt, if someone could only see your actions and not hear your words, what would they say your values truly are?

So right here and now, we’re going to be turning those values into action. As if you were right there in the Serengeti. Start with things that are enjoyable but get you out of the apartment, out of the house. Give yourself opportunities to question some of the rules, restrictions you’ve placed on yourself, meet new people, do some of the things you used to enjoy and make small steps towards the life you eventually want to live.

In this section we will be setting goals based upon your values. The orange is there for energy, for focus. The green is for exploring values. Now, we take those coveted values and start acting on them.

Look back on the values worksheet. Notice the values that have the highest rating in terms of importance. Pick one where you’d like to focus on. A value that’s meaningful for you and also provides opportunity for reinforcement. For reward. If you’re really not sure, go with the community value or intimate relationships as a focus.

So if your value is “I cultivate intimate relationships with each other,” your goal might be, “Get back on that online dating bandwagon.”

And yes, I know it’s kinda odd, kinda weird to be taking something like relationships with other people and turn it into a series of goals. I would say, to that, let the weirdness be there but don’t let it stop you from moving forward. Is this weirdness serving a function for you? Or is it another holding pattern? Remember, To live a life most people don't, you must be willing to do what most people won't.

Think of it like this: most people would state that good, intimate relationships with others is at least as important as success in their career. And so it’s quite natural to really put in effort into your CV or resume. Have a friend, colleague look it over. Visit a website, hell read a book on how to properly format it. But when it comes to an online dating profile, we’re just supposed to wing it? If you have a challenge with someone you’re married to, it’d be normal and okay to talk to someone about it. Maybe even go online or seek out a counselor. Well, if you’re single and you don’t want to be, that’s also a relationship problem. Don’t let shame stop you from seeking help in any stage of a relationship, especially the beginning.

Suppose someone is ready to start dating. Just not sure they want to deal with the drama of online dating. You promised them that in their next 10 dates, 9 of those dates would just be no good. A few flake. A few have no chemistry. A few don’t even look like their picture. But in one of those dates, you’d find your soul mate. Instant chemistry, chatting for hours, a real sense of connection. And an amazing relationship that lasts for years to come.

Would this be a good deal? Would most people sign up? Generally the answer is yes! Let’s do it. There’d be a jump to action: getting ready for the series of dates. Embracing all of the terrible dates. Seeing them as practice. Celebrating each one!

Now, obviously, there’s no guarantee of that particular ratio. But sometimes it’s good to act with a bit of hopeful optimism. That yes, there will be a series of awful dates. You have the option of letting it stop you. You also have the option of celebrating each one. Each one a practice for the real relationship you’re looking for. You can see dating, or interviews, or even the entry into a new hobby as a series of small steps in service of your value. In service of who you want to be.

And as you engage in this process, as emotions come up, remember the White Belt! Write them down. Notice the blocks that come up. Notice what the kids in the back seat are saying to you as you start to take action in your life. Pay attention to what you might be avoiding. What others say you should focus on but you consider “unimportant.” This is what you can focus on for future psychedelic or psycholytic sessions.

And with that, let’s go into the next section, How to Set Goals. Let’s begin.

Red 11: SMART-OS Goal Setting

And so we move to the SMART system of goal setting. We’ll add a few elements to it, to make it SMART-OS. Here is the worksheet so you can follow along.

For making goals, you’ll want to follow the SMART-OS sequence:

S. For Specific.

So if you’re looking to foster intimate relationships, that’s a value. But it’s pretty vague. A goal in service of that value would be: find a significant other. But then we can break that down. What would be a nice, small, simple step in that direction. Could be: start online dating. But we’re looking for specifics. That could be: select a photo for your profile. Decide which service you want to use. Or even, reach out to X number of people a day.

M -- for Measurable.

So rather than “start online dating,” you could try find 5 good pictures of yourself. Research which online service might be good for you. Send out so many messages per week. The main goal and the smaller goals used to bring the main goal into fruition should be measurable, when possible. For online dating, you want to measure your progress. If your response rate for online dating is 5%, that’s helpful information. You can compare it to others and just know you’ll need to reach out to 20 people to get a response. A few months down the line learning a few tricks of the trade, your rate might go up to… 6%. But, improvement is improvement.

A -- for Attainable

It’ll be pretty difficult to send out 50 messages a day if you’re in crunch time at work. Or if online dating itself seems like a massive project, maybe the goal for the week is just to get some photos.

There’s nothing wrong with starting small, making slow yet steady progress. Remember, we’re just choosing a direction and moving forward. Better to go slow than to stop.

R -- for Realistic.

The response rate generally for straight, cis men, is about 6-8%. It might not be realistic to have as a goal five dates a week. And if your response rate is low, it might make sense to have a goal to adjust your online profile or find a different avenue altogether. Sometimes it’s in the service of other goals: building a better community, political action, that we meet friends and possibly a significant other.

And speaking of realistic goals, remember that you can do anything, but not everything. The goal here is to take action, but that doesn’t necessarily mean more projects. Sometimes, if you’re a “workaholic” or a “busyholic,” action may just involve spending time, well, doing nothing. Perhaps spending time with friends or family. Consider what your values are. Have balance in what you’re seeking. Set realistic goals that align with the full scope of what you want your life to be about.

T -- for Time-Bound.

Set a date for when you’d like your goals realized. What’s a small goal that you can start right here and now? For the subsequent goals, when would be a good time for them to be accomplished? So for dating, you may want to have a goal of choosing photos within the next few days. And to have a profile written within a week!

To make it into SMART-OS, we add two elements:

O -- for Orange.

Take the principles that have worked for you in the orange belt. If you’ve added daily meditation, or daily mindfulness, maybe some daily cardio, you can use the same habit principles in the service of your goals in the red belt. That includes rewards. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, terrible relationship and you finally worked up the courage to make a profile, give yourself a reward.

On the road to our goals, you will have your own obstacles that might seem like nothing to others and likewise, steps that seem easy to you might be major challenges to others. If the completion of a goal took a lot of effort, you want to reward that effort. Even if you feel like you don’t quite deserve it.

Also from the orange belt: use reminders. Stay consistent. Maybe each morning you have a cup of coffee and send out 10 messages.

And of course, use mindfulness. Ground yourself before a difficult step and use the meditations to reflect on how you’re doing. Notice what your values are and see if you’re heading in that direction.

And finally, the last element: S -- for Social

You want to walk a fine line. Generally speaking, some light social pressure can go a long way in keeping you focused on particular goals. You have someone you can be accountable to, and possibly work together with. Just like it’s a good idea to have someone review your CV, it’s good, and recommended to have someone look over your profile. Or to help you select the right photos.

At the same time, it’s very tempting to tell people about your goals and reap the dopamine rewards without actually having to get started.

So be sure to share the specific, measurable goals. And ask for accountability. The next belt, the final belt, will help you find your community, your tribe, which can help you in your social support. For as we’ve learned, from the Orange belt, it can be helpful to share your goals with someone you look up to. To let that subtle social pressure help keep you on track.

And while we’re on the topic of the orange belt, make use of Silicon Valley. Join the online groups that share your goals and make sure you see those groups when you’re on social media. Join the subreddits or even, yes, Facebook groups that are oriented towards helpful, positive collaboration.

Red 12: Bullet Ant Metaphor

Now with your goals as you’re moving towards your values, it’s important to acknowledge that, well, there might be failure. There will be setbacks.

In the Amazon basin they have adult initiation rituals. For those around the teenage years, they have to go through a difficult, challenging ritual to fully become an adult. For some tribes, they take a glove, fill it with bullet ants – so named because each sting from one of these insects is like getting shot. Immense pain, it’s grueling. These poor kids have to wear this glove for five minutes and then deal with the excruciating pain for a good 24 hours.

But in preparation for this, they’re paired with someone. An elder who shows them how to anticipate the pain, allow it to happen, work through it, focus on what’s important.

Because, well, life itself, adulthood, is usually filled with pain, injury, setbacks. People close to you can be gone in an instant. You can open a store and next month, an earthquake. Or a pandemic. Things completely out of your control. And your only power is in how you respond. How you choose to place your focus. And in whom you seek support within your community.

And so where does the red belt come from? The orange belt is there to adjust your habits to make room for knowing yourself, gaining some energy, refining your operating system. The green belt is there to bring focus to what’s important, to define your personal values.

From those values come goals, and with those goals comes struggle. There will be injury. If you go out on a date, go out to an audition, hell just put yourself out there in the world, you’ll face rejection, setbacks, disappointment. Each one like a little cut — each drawing blood.

Part of the process here, at the cost of being dramatic, is to embrace the blood. Embrace the pain. Allow it to be there. So that you can better choose how you’re going to respond. So you have psychological flexibility, so you can adapt and overcome.

The common misconception of the green belt is that doing these deep experiences, either outside in nature or inside with psychedelics, results in this great internal change of transcendence. That things don’t bother you anymore. That you live in complete zen. Well, as the great Ram Dass stated,

"If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family."

You will always experience some struggle. Some conflict. You think you’re over something — until a triggering event brings you right back to the pain.

To get through the bullet ants, you have to allow the pain to be there. To sense how it comes in waves, and do your best to ride it, roll with it. Let it knock you down and focus on getting back up. Know that it’ll get better and take the lessons you’ve learned into adulthood. To know there is a community in support of you and that you’ll have the opportunity to help others in due time.

Red 13: Stoicism

Sometimes, a stoic mindset is needed in life, especially in the Southland. The stoics were ancient philosophers who essentially believed that most things in life are essentially out of our control. There are many things we can influence but there is always going to be random chaos. And misfortune is inevitable.

Imagine an aspiring actor. Even with amazing talent, living right in the thirty-mile zone, taking the server job so always available for an audition, there’s still so much that happens by chance. The wrong casting director, or just someone else auditioning that’s a better fit. Or casting ready to start and then a global pandemic occurs.

For the single person dating, it’s completely luck of the draw. That perfect soul mate may have just deleted their profile out of frustration, or went back to their ex, or moved back east.

We think we have control, we want to stay positive and act as if we have control, but alas, as philosophers have opined for thousands of years, it really is luck of the draw.

And so their solution? Have one main division: between what you can control and what’s out of your control.

Notice what is beyond your control. Who happens to sign up on the dating app. The whims or biases of a random casting agent. Accept that you can do everything right and still fail. You can come in with the best of intentions and still not reach your goals or aspirations. Develop a sense of tolerance for the random winds of fate & fortune.

At the same time, focus on what you can control: your own thoughts, interpretations, actions, and relationships.

Indeed, and this is a central tenet of therapy and self-help programs everywhere: it’s not necessarily the event that leads to pain & distress but our interpretation of it.

And so, in the Southland and beyond, the possibility of failure, of pain, of setbacks and injury should not only be accepted but anticipated. It’s tempting to think, “well, if I focus on the possibility of failure, I’m setting myself up for it.” Yet maybe, you’re not supposed to be successful right away? Maybe your first audition goes horribly wrong. Your first date might not be your prince charming. If you allow failure to occur, you can make peace with it. You can learn from it. You can better recover and make better choices going forward.

Plus, you’ll likely enjoy your success and accomplishments more. When you go out dating, assume each date will go wrong for some reason or another. A flake, someone who doesn’t look anything like their picture, absolutely no chemistry. That way, when you meet someone and you really click, you’ll appreciate the date more. And if a relationship sparks, you’ll appreciate the connection you fought so hard to cultivate.

The ancient Greeks had the analogy of moving forward in a perpetual battle alongside your clan. Arrows are always whizzing by and one day, one of those arrows is gonna strike you. There are some steps you can do to protect yourself. Usually though it’s luck of the draw. The best you can do is anticipate a hit, mentally prepare for it. With each day you make it through, cultivate a sense of gratitude with the understanding that fate can give and take on a moment’s notice.

Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t care about your goals, or be fatalistic about life. Our aim here is to understand your values and move towards them without too much attachment to the whims of fate or fortune. To acknowledge that there’s a lot we simply cannot control besides our perspectives, our reactions, and our choices.

So when there’s failure, allow it to suck. As they say in the military, embrace the suck. Give yourself space to be upset and disappointed. Come back through, to your center, your current, your drive. Allow the regret to be there. At the same time, place your focus on what’s important. Notice the progress you’ve made and sit with the gratitude for even making it as far as you have.

As you’re adjusting your route, your kids in the back seat will complain. You made a nice road map for where to go and life decided to throw you a curve ball. Maybe a closed exit or a flat tire. Allow these kids to complain. See it as a natural process, while you plot out a new course, and chart a new course of action.

Remember, life is temporary. So try not to take it too seriously. You have goals that may or may not come to pass. Don’t have too much attachment to any one particular goal. Focus on your values, the people around you, what you enjoy out of life, and what’s important to you.

Introducing the Stripes

So with our goals in hand we move to the red belt stripes. To complete this program, both stripes are required in order to reach the black belt.

The first stripe: learning to say no. Reaching your goals often requires setting boundaries, saying no to old habits, and often, disappointing people. So we explore that next. And then, well, we explore the opposite: how to say yes.

As you go through the stripes, you’ll continue to have both psychedelic and psycholytic ketamine therapy sessions. So as you learn how to say yes, learn how to say no, the issues that arise can be processed. Note what emotions come up as you explore the stripes. Continue to do the meditations. Don’t skimp on the Orange—keep working on your habits. And don’t skimp on the green. Reflect on your values. Reflect on what you’re fighting for.

Then when you are ready, you’ll face me. I view the black belt as mostly ceremonial. The real work is in this belt and it is my duty to ensure you have done the work. Made the progress. Shed that metaphorical blood by expanding beyond the comfort zones. So do the meditations. Follow the mindfulness program. Right at Pentabelt dot com slash meditations. Finish the stripes, then come back and see how you fare.

Red 14: Learning to Say No

As we enter into the stripes for the red belt, we have two divisions. Both involve some challenge, some shed blood, metaphorically speaking. Both involve potential triggers to be challenged during the psycholytic therapy. The 2nd stripe comes from learning to say yes. Putting yourself out there, facing rejection, taking the steps to foster connection and community.

Yet to learn how to say “yes,” we must also learn how to say “no.” And that is what we will tackle in the first stripe. Those who tend to fall on the anxious side often find it difficult to say no, to establish healthy boundaries. Notice what happens in “The Industry” in Southern California: Hollywood. Here we have kids in their 20’s leave everything behind to come out west to hopefully strike it big. They drop everything to make it to all the auditions. Any opportunity to get your name out there.

Problem is, even after racking up some successes, it’s difficult to break that habit. After all, you never know when the next season won’t be picked up or the commercial package falls through. And there’s FOMO: who wants to miss out on what could be the next big thing! The unexpected breakthrough!

Then there’s the disappointment factor. You may have worked with someone, say a producer, for years, for a variety of projects and maybe it’s time to branch out and work with others. To say “yes” to them, you have to say “no” to someone who may have been there from the beginning. That brings out a lot of emotion, much of it negative.

Yet remember the orange! It’s the avoidance of emotions, avoidance of experience that results in so much suffering. There is an amazing quote by

Audrey Hepburn: The sharp knife hurts the least and heals the quickest.

Giving a quick and explicit “no” is often what you need to do to allow the other person to move on and to preserve the relationship. Being too wishy-washy or ambiguous just prolongs the issue. Leads to greater disappointment, even resentment.

So in this first stripe, we work on saying no and establishing boundaries in three forms: First, with other people. They want you to work on the weekends, you specifically said “no” to that, our goal is to preserve that boundary. Second: saying no to yourself, especially to your urges. That could be drinking, sugar, or the wave of anger you don’t want to be swept up in. Third: saying no to rumination, to living in the past. That means a focus on forgiveness, of letting go.

To help with these difficult feelings, we can begin to apply these mindfulness skills you’ve been cultivating. To that end, we have the RAIN system. Recognize, accept, investigate, non-identify.

To start, we remember the regal pose. Shoulders up, shoulders back. Fingers connected to your thumb. Notice the stillness. You’ll be going through emotions. Challenge yourself to keep your pose as we begin.

For “RAIN”, the “R” is recognize. When a difficult emotion comes up, notice that it’s there. Notice where it is in your body. Remember the body scan from the orange belt. If you were to breathe into this emotion, where in your body would you be breathing into? What are the sensations that are coming along with it? If saying “no” makes you feel panic, what’s the panic like? Where are you feeling that panic?

Next: Acceptance. You’re learning to say “no.” That’s a difficult thing to master. Many people have a very similar challenge. You’re here to grow and growing usually involves growing pain. So, accept them. Allow these difficult feelings. You have kids in the backseat. You want salad, they want ice cream. They are gonna be upset. Allow them to be upset. Send them love and kindness. Eventually, the yelling and the difficult feelings will pass.

As you say “no,” it’s gonna be weird, awkward. Invite that awkwardness in. Make room for it by breathing into it. See it as a natural process. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re allowed to feel this way. Notice the awkwardness, breathe into it, back to your pose.

Then: Investigate

Remember the subtle emotions, the colors and shapes of the green belt. When you think of saying “no,” what other feelings are coming up? There might be the main feeling of panic, but there might be a smaller object. Maybe sadness? Fear? A sense of hopelessness? Consider the statements: “Am I ever gonna be able to say no? To stand up for myself?” Reflecting on that, what comes up? Just notice it there. As with the mindfulness exercises, label them. That’s sadness, that’s judgment, that’s fear.

As you say “no,” various things come floating down the river. Remember to be the scientist. The naturalist. Foster the Green. Observe what you’re seeing. Not just the main emotion of fear, but the subtle feelings. And where you feel them. Be curious, with as little judgment as possible. If you were to describe where the panic was in your body, where would you start? Are there little thoughts that go along with these sensations? Do those thoughts bring up any memories? Does your focus tend to drift towards the past? The future?

Let’s say there’s the thought, “You’ll never be able to say no, because you’re just a pushover.” Whose voice is saying that? Is that a parent’s voice? A kid from middle school? Imagine that person on a canoe coming down the river. What’s the facial expression? What color would the canoe be? Are there hands on the hips? Or flipping you off?

If you’re feeling very intense, you can always come back to your breath. Back to “aham.” Breathe in, allow the kid in the canoe to float by. Notice what emotions come floating right afterwards. See if you can really feel those emotions. As if you’re diving into those emotions. Take a breath into those emotions. Sit with them. Notice where in your body you’re feeling those emotions, and breathe into those parts.

And finally, the last step: Non-identify

As the emotions come by, be that scientist on the bank of the river, with a clipboard marking down what you’re seeing, what’s coming up. Remember, you’re the river, not what’s on top. These emotions, these thoughts, will come and go.

If you set a boundary with someone, it might be odd for you. Hey, you might even fail. But in five years, is it really going to matter? When this is a distant memory? Whatever happens, in a hundred years, the only thing they’ll be judging you for is how your tombstone looks. So no need to take these emotions too seriously.

During the mindfulness exercise, whether in the shower or walking the dog, a thought comes up, “past self not me.” That’s non-identification. So for this exercise, when a feeling of anxiety comes up? “That’s a feeling of anxiety.” You don’t want to say “I’m anxious.” That’s not true. You’re a person, a human, who has a feeling of anxiety. A feeling that will come, hang for a while, then leave at some point in the near future.

If you have kids in the back seat screaming about ice cream, you could turn to them and say, “you guys are kids; this isn’t a democracy. I’m picking us up some salad; you’ll be fine in a few hours. You can scream for now; it’ll be okay.” And then, let them scream. You can then take a bird’s eye view. Rise above the car. Rise above the traffic. Notice this one car, with the parent in front, kids in the back seat. One of many cars in the neighborhood.

Imagine that you’re watching a horror movie, a scary movie. Very easy to get immersed in it. To be drawn in. It’s just you and the soon-to-be-victim with the killer slowly coming in through the backdoor. Now imagine that the boom stick is suddenly in focus in the movie. And on the side I think you can kinda see the Starbucks coffee cup? It’s more difficult to identify with the plot. With the victim. With the story. Imagine you’re there at the actual filming. The camera crew is there. The directors. The producer is checking her phone. Each level of detachment takes you away from the intensity. Allows a sense of non-identification. The action is still occurring, but you’re observing, from a distance.

So practice recognizing the feelings. Breathing into them. Allowing them to be there. Investigating what are the thoughts and subtle feelings that come up. But don’t identify too closely to what’s happening. Treat it like something that floats by, stays a little bit, and drifts off.

As we go over how to say “no,” notice the emotions that come up. We’ll go through the process for you. This is a skill, a skill you’ll cultivate and fail at from time to time. So, notice the judgment as well. This is a natural, normal part of the experience, which does not have to stop you from challenging yourself. From growing. From learning to take back your time and focus on what’s important.

Finally, it’s important to keep in mind: “No” is a complete sentence. Notice how when you do say “no” there’s a tendency to explain yourself. To sell it. To come up with a half-a-dozen reasons. Can you simply say, “no thank you” without having to provide an extended explanation?

Now is the time to work on that. And it’s entirely possible that you can practice saying “no” during a psycholytic therapy session. The therapist will ask, your job is to say “no.” Keeping your composure. Allowing it to be a complete sentence.

Remember, setting boundaries is more of a skill than a natural talent. And like any skill, it can be practiced and refined. How many years do we devote to studying business, or law, or academics, or whatever our craft may be? Might it make sense to also practice establishing boundaries, the ability to communicate, the fortitude to be able to say “no?” Now is the time to practice all of that.

Along this path, you’ll have setbacks and progress. You can practice at home, in more comfortable situations to then be able to use this tool when it matters most.

Red 15: Saying No To Others

So we have a hypothetical scenario in the southland. You’re working for a company 9-to-5, Monday through Friday. But the weekend is yours -- that was the agreement. The weekend you’re focusing on your craft. Able to go out for auditions, collaborate with others, hone your technique. Before you started to work that was the agreement sealed with a handshake. Now, the boss wants you to come in on Saturday. You’ve talked with some friends, family -- they all say the same thing: “you gotta say no, you gotta set limits.”

So it’s Friday. Maybe you’re a bit avoidant, planned to duck out 4:30 so the boss doesn’t have a chance to corner you. Bit of an “office space” situation. But it doesn’t work. You’re put on the spot. “Hey, we have a big order coming in, how about coming in tomorrow morning to help us out.” What do you say?

Step 1.

Have a statement of understanding. Be Gracious and be Accepting. “I know you’re swamped here.”

Step 2:

But use that sharp knife. “I’m not going to be able to come in.”

Step 3:

A very short statement explaining your reason. “Our work agreement doesn’t include weekends.” Short and sweet.

Step 4:

Show gratitude, or end on a positive note. “I will be here right on Monday morning to help out.”

Step 5:

And this is the important step: When there’s an argument, go back to the short statement from step three. You don’t need to elaborate, you don’t need to apologize, you don’t need to lie. Remember the quote from Reagan, that famous governor of California:

“If you’re explaining, you’re losing.”

You will want to. You will want to explain yourself. That’s where the orange belt comes in. Notice that there’s a part of you that feels like you’re doing something wrong. Breathe into it. Hold space for it. Allow it to be there. Yet remember your values. What did you discover during the green belt? What’s important to you? You’re not just saying “no” to overwork. You’re saying “yes” to, well, your passion – to your overall life. You’re saying yes to having balance in life.

But make no mistake: establishing boundaries will make you the annoying one. If you’re not used to it, it may even be painful. You may have to set boundaries not only at work but in relationships. There are people out there that thrive on drama or reaction. And the best response to that is the grey rock. To be as uninteresting and non-stimulating as possible so that a toxic or narcissistic person just gets bored and leaves you alone.

But that involves not taking the bait. When the toxic person says something to get you riled up, notice that desire to respond with argument. Notice the hurt and breathe into it. And respond as minimally as possible. One syllable answers. Nothing to feed their narcissistic supply. Don’t provoke. And don’t be provoked. When someone is acting nuts, trying to get a rise out of you, sometimes a blank stare is the best response. Don’t give them anything to feed on. Be that grey rock.

This is all a skill. Did you think being assertive is something you’re born with? Or that will magically show up after a psychedelic session? As with anything, assertiveness, clear communication, is a skill that takes time to develop. And it can be painful at times. Remember, it’s the red belt because you’re gonna shed some metaphoric blood in the service of your goals.

Even in your community with what you’re passionate about, you will want to be able to say no. Again, if there’s a TV project and your focus is films. Films only. -- Be gracious: “I’m really touched you thought of me. Then use the sharp knife: “But I’m focusing just on films for the time being.” And more gratitude: “I appreciate you thinking of me.” Notice the emotions that come up. Allow that awkwardness to be there. Let it feel weird. Breathe into it. You’ve survived much worse. Know that you’ll be okay. Express that to the kids in the backseat.

Same for a family or intimate relationship. You’re expecting a dollar from someone only capable of giving a penny or a quarter. You may have spent years looking for love, looking for acceptance from someone who just cannot provide that for you. It is okay to begin setting boundaries. Setting expectations.

And if necessary, it is okay to be alone.

“There are worse things than being alone. But it often takes decades to realize this — and most often, when you do, it’s too late. And there’s nothing worse than too late .” — Charles Bukowski

That’s not to say you should rush into such decisions or take them lightly. There’s a reason to stay in the green belt for a period of time. Reflect with yourself. Reflect with others. But notice that in your life there will be relationships that run their course. And in all relationships, healthy boundaries are paramount.

Hence we have the red belt. Learning to set boundaries and rehearsing it. Processing the emotions that come up. All things to practice both in psycholytic therapy as well as in your day-to-day life. So begin practicing now! Start with saying no to that coffee after 4pm, or to the dessert trey. Let this be a skill you cultivate and develop in the service of your values.

Red 16: Saying No to Urges

The next area: Saying no to yourself. As you practice meditation and mindfulness, you’re developing a closer relationship to your body and to what makes you tick. From this, you might start to notice that certain habits aren’t just random. That there seems to be anxiety and then an urge to indulge. Whether that’s smoking, eating ice cream, or starting a fight with someone.

Saying “yes” to a new habit, or skill set, or relationship usually makes saying “no” to something else. If you’ve always wanted to start improv or writing or just taking better care of yourself, that all involves time. Daily time for daily habits. And that time has to come from somewhere. The 4 hours of gaming or watching sports, might have to come down to one or two.

You’ll also start to notice the effects of some of these habits. What used to be a harmless indulgence, you might notice results in just a lower sense of energy, sadness, or even just more anxiety later in the day.

Replacing some of these habits can add up to significant change. Even replacing really bad habits with slightly better ones is a start. So we explore here: surfing the wave.

Remember from the green belt, we can think of urges or sensations as like a wave. They can be big and very powerful but also temporary. If you go out swimming and deny they are there or try and fight against them, you just hit the full brunt head on and you’re wiped out. The trick is to ride with the wave. To get a sense: “Here’s a wave... it’s about to rise... now it’s lifting me up.” You adjust your body and let it pass.

This is where the orange belt comes in. So you’re at a party. You made an agreement with yourself: just one drink. That’s it. But now you see your friends, they’re having fun. You’d really like to loosen up. You’d really like a drink.

That sense of missing out. That sense of feeling deprived. It’s like a wave. Temporary. You’re not gonna feel deprived a week later. Or even an hour later. But in the moment, the wave can feel big and intense.

So you focus on your body. Breathe into where you feel deprived. What does it feel like to be missing out? Can you make room for those feelings? Can you sit with them?

Then the green belt. Can you get a bird’s eye view of the situation? See the party from above. That these emotions are coming in, will stay awhile, and float away?

And then the red belt. What are your kids in the backseat saying? Is what they’re saying always true? Or is it based upon fear? And are there other people here at the party? With their own struggles, their own waves? Their own kids in the backseat?

One strategy? With those kids in the backseat, give them a name. Eric and Samantha. Notice them there in the backseat. What would they be saying right now? What would they be feeling? What would their tone be? Would they be yelling? Screaming? Notice their fear. And, notice your own desire to judge them. To tell them to shut up. Nope. That anger is actually part of the scar. That judgment just leads to frustration. Just leads to giving up and escaping. Rise above that. Try to treat those kids as you would treat a scared puppy that needs to be held. That’s just your body holding onto old trauma. You don’t have to listen to Eric and Samantha. Notice them there in the backseat, sometimes agitated, sometimes scared. And that’s okay.

The idea here is to get a little bit of distance from the urges. With that distance, you can better notice the urge as it builds, feels intense, and starts to wane. And you can prepare your body. Just like a literal wave. You would relax yourself. Pay attention to your surroundings as the energy builds. Don’t fight it, let it flow. Know that it will pass. And then, refocus on where you’re heading. What does having just one beer allow you to focus on? Allow you to enjoy? Is there someone there you can chat with? Something in the party you can appreciate?

The goal here is to experience the craving, experience the urge, without acting on it. You can notice the feelings, notice the sensations, but it doesn’t mean you have to act on them.

Now, that doesn’t mean if you’re in sobriety that you should be hanging out in a bar. Remember it’s always a mix of enacting what you can control and accepting what you can’t. If you can avoid the bars, best to do so. But if you’re just out for dinner and everyone else is having a pint. Notice the urge — and that you also have a choice.

So challenge yourself. Nothing too excessive or anything that would endanger your sobriety. The next time you go out for dinner be the only person there not eating any meat. Or not any red meat, or not any processed meat. Or, go to a wine bar, but choose to be the designated driver. Notice those feelings as they enter your body. Where do you feel them? If those feelings had a color, what would it be? If there were kids in your backseat, what would they be saying? The first might talk about how big the wave is, “it’s overwhelming, “I feel so deprived.” The other kid, about your ability to handle it. “I’m so weak. I can’t tolerate this.” That you’re going to fold, so you might as well get it out of the way? That the urges are only gonna get worse. Visualize it as kids in the backseat, acting out of fear. Notice the distance you can have with those kids. Notice the choice you have in where you focus your attention.

So, notice the dialogue. Allow it to be there. Don’t stop driving. Keep your destination in mind. Focus on the road ahead.

Red 17: Embracing Forgiveness

The final area: saying no to allowing the hurt and pain of the past to restrict your life today. To do this requires one of the most challenging steps: forgiving those who have hurt you.

Likely in your past someone has wronged you. Someone has harmed you. Holding onto that anger, though—well, the popular quote is that

“Holding Resentment Is Like Taking Poison and Waiting for the Other Person To Die.” -- Malachy McCourt

If we don’t let go of the painful event, if there’s no forgiveness, that pain will just fester. And there’s a good chance you may then go onto harm others. Someone hit me as a kid, so it’s okay for me to do the same. I was rejected and I can’t get revenge on that person, so I’ll take it out on the people in my life. I was vulnerable, and I got hurt, so I can’t ever be vulnerable.

The sad state of affairs is that, by the time you hit 18, by the time you’re an adult, you probably have a scar. Someone probably hurt you in some way. There’s rejection, trauma, and abuse.

Through forgiveness what we’re doing is saying, “that abuse isn’t right, and I can keep it in the past. It doesn’t have to keep me from living my life. It doesn’t have to stop me from being close to others, being open.” By letting go of the resentment you can use that pain for good—to help others and to appreciate who and what you have now.

Here’s a great analogy from Tara Brach… “Imagine while walking in the woods you see a small dog sitting by a tree. You bend down to pet it and it suddenly lunges at you, teeth bared. Initially you might be frightened and angry. But then you notice one of its legs is caught in a trap, buried under some leaves. Immediately your mood shifts from anger to concern. You see that the dog’s aggression sprang from vulnerability and pain. This applies to all of us. When we behave in hurtful, reactive ways, it’s because we’re caught in some kind of painful trap. The more we investigate the source of our suffering, the more we cultivate a compassionate heart toward ourselves and others.”

Imagine as a kid you had a traumatic experience with a dog. A dog that was trapped, or hurt, or frightened. But you kept that fear, maybe even kept that anger. You assumed all dogs were the same. You could end up spending the rest of your life never having a dog. Never having that company, that companionship. Not understanding what happened that day, not being able to forgive means that you just end up missing out.

Same goes for other people. When you don’t forgive, you don’t understand, and you keep the harmful assumptions about others. And it’s these assumptions that keep you safe, yet also lonely & disconnected.

Which leads to forgiveness of the self. You may have acted a certain way few years ago that, by now, you’re not quite happy with. Might be cringy, might be awful. Your brain was different then. By feeling that regret, it’s a symbol that you’ve made a transition. In letting go of that past, you open yourself up to the future.

For people hurt or haunted by past relationships. We have a theme for writing, which will go into next: the spider and the fly. Most people, even just looking into high school or college have a time when they were the fly in the spider web. Taken advantage of by someone. Hurt by someone, rejected by someone. You carry that hurt, remember it. But, I bet there’s also a time where you were the spider. Where you brushed someone aside, ignored them, rejected them. You might not have any real memory of it.

As they say: the Axe forgets, the tree remembers.

You may be the source of someone’s else’s cringe or anxiety or sadness and not even know it.

Sadly, hurting others and being hurt ourselves, is inevitable. By forgiving others when you were the fly and forgiving yourself for being the spider, it’s easier to move on and not take past damage going forward in your future. You heal your wounds, so you’re not bleeding on new people in your life. You become more resilient and also empathetic to the suffering of others. All and all, a stronger person.

So for the writing, we focus first on Forgiveness. And for that, we have the REACH method for forgiveness.

That stands for first R. Recall.

We write out what happened. In just an objective account, writing in detail what happened. If strong emotions come up, breathe into them. But place the events on paper.

Second: Empathize. If your transgressor had to explain what happened, what would this person say? Remember, people who are hurt themselves often lash out at others. Notice that when you hurt others, it was because of the situation, the environment. Well, it works the same way when the roles are reversed, when you’re the fly. Nobody wakes up and decides, “How am I going to be evil today?” Well, very few people do. Give your transgressor the benefit of the doubt here. Just for your own healing.

A for Altruistic gift.

You are giving the gift of forgiveness. Both for yourself and the other person. Here, you might want to write out how, you, at some point hurt someone else. Maybe inadvertently. Probably by accident. But the hurt occurred. Write that you would like forgiveness, and that, in that same spirit, you’re extending that forgiveness to the person who hurt you.

C for Commitment.

I know it seems corny, but you can make a certificate of forgiveness. That you are forgiving the person and committing to the process. It is your gift, it is given, and you are committing to it.

H for Hold.

Hold onto that forgiveness. So in the future, you’ll still feel a bit hurt, angry, salty. That’s natural and normal. Notice the anger, “not me.” Then come back to the forgiveness. Notice the color and shape of the hurt. But notice that it’s not you. Not what you’re striving for.

So write all this out—your plan for what will happen when the unforgiveness pops up.

Occasionally re-read what you wrote. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. Yet at the same time, very liberating. Very freeing.

The Second writing process is for when you’re about to use that sharp knife. Create a healthy boundary, say no to someone or plan your great escape.

Here we use some stoic philosophy: Write out the worst that can happen. Write out how it’s gonna blow up in your face. How you’ll stumble. It’ll be awkward. You’ll feel all kinds of uncomfortable emotions. Remember: detachment. Write out what emotions come by. What you’ll have to breathe into. What the kids in the back seat are saying.

But then, place yourself 5 years in the future. Write out how, basically, you’ll be okay. Someone’s bothering you at work. Write out how you set a boundary, maybe lodged a complaint. That blew up in your face. It was uncomfortable, awkward. But it needed to be done. And in 5 years, maybe you’re in a different job? Maybe a different career? Much better at establishing boundaries right from the start and enforcing them. So maybe this difficult step was the first necessary step you needed to take!

Finally, we can add a little twist to the process. Maybe here you’re shifting out a bad habit for a good one. Let’s say, getting more movement. Getting a bit of exercise. Instead of being sedentary, having more movement in your life.

Here you’d write out: The very first, simple, small step in that direction. It could be: getting walking shoes. Or getting rid of your parking pass, so you have to walk 4 blocks each morning at work. Hopefully being mindful at the same time. Or look, maybe your first step is to get a pedometer. And write down the step count each day. Remember the orange: whatever the small step is for you, write it out. And write out how it’ll be difficult. It’s a bit sad to write down 4000 steps when you should really be at 10000. It’s tough to feel winded after walking more than a few minutes. Or to go from sitting all day to being on a walking or standing desk, at least for the first few days. Let it be a challenge. Write out how it’ll be difficult.

Then take the role model you have selected. Someone you look up to. Not necessarily a fitness trainer. Just someone you admire. Write out what they would say. Ideally, “good for you: you’re taking the first step.” Chances are, this person has struggles you’re not even aware of. Write how this person sees your struggles and is encouraging you on your way.

Then, in time, add in the next step.

There’s just something about writing. Just seems to make it real. It makes it easier to just take that first step.

What is this belt? The red belt. What is that the color of? Blood? And for the most part, that’s your blood. As you’re moving towards your goals, you’ll have to set boundaries. Before you can say “yes,” you’ll often have to say “no.” You’ll struggle with it. You may have to really work to establish healthy boundaries. And you’ll fail. Each time you do, there’s a bit more blood until your belt is soaked in it and you have your red belt.

What does this say? Failure is part of the process. It’s inevitable. To get through this failure, there needs to be a sense of self-compassion. An ability to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and return to try again. A developed sense of self-compassion is one of the most important elements to avoiding emotional burnout as well as cultivating a sense of perspective.

Right now, out there, someone is struggling to do what comes so easy for you. Driving down to LAX to pick up someone at the airport? You don’t give it a second thought. But for many people, just the thought of doing that sends them into a panic. That’s their struggle. If that person finally took a baby step. Maybe just drive to the Burbank airport. You would give them all the encouragement you could. And if that step was too much, too overwhelming, you might be the first there to make space, to soften the blow and say, “we’ll try again another day.”

Well, part of this process is for you to give yourself that same compassion, that same encouragement. If you’re willing to extend that to a random stranger, what’s stopping you from doing the same for yourself? Or receiving that encouragement from others?

You’re not just here to discover your values and move towards your goals. You’re also here to dust yourself off when you fail. To embrace it and hold space for the thoughts and feelings that come up.

So imagine your younger cousin or maybe a co-worker you’ve taken under your wing, finally worked up the courage to drive to LAX and it was just too much. What actions would you take to say, “hey, it’s okay, there’s always tomorrow, you did a good job?” Take the person out? Maybe a bar somewhere on Sepulveda. Or just give a hug.

There’s a good chance, that’s what you’ll need at some point along your journey. That’s why the other stripe is about saying yes. Building your community. Finding people who will support you on your way.

In the meantime, during your mindfulness and meditation, really see if you can get in touch with the sense of compassion for yourself. And gratitude for the steps you’ve taken already. Notice what the kids in the back seat are saying. “What’s wrong with you, it’s not enough, you’re an awful human being and a terrible driver.” Notice what they’re saying, come back to compassion, and come back to what’s pulling you forward. Remember the lessons from the green belt. It’s not the swamp that’s important, rather your vision of the mountain top.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Whatever your personal struggle is, each attempt should be met with encouragement and reinforcement. Even if you don’t feel like it, part of your struggle is to cultivate self-compassion. Even if you don’t feel like you deserve it. Especially if you don’t feel like you deserve it.

Of course, this is all easier said than done. In the next section, we’ll be focusing on psychedelic, or rather, psycholytic therapy to facilitate our work here. To really bring it all together.

Red 18: Psycholytic Therapy For Stripe 1: The Ability to Say “No”

Suppose you’ve gone through the green. A deep psychedelic journey. And you arrive from that with the profound realization that, drinking just isn’t for you anymore. It’s been holding you back. You’re inspired to take your liquor, and down the sink it goes.

You’ve still got parties to attend. Parties where folks will be handing you drinks. Parties where everyone will have a drink in their hands. Parties where you may be the only one there sober.

Remember the quote:

“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor”

When we talk about blood in the red belt, it’s not literal blood. It’s not necessarily “no pain, no gain.” But these issues of change must be addressed. One day you will be faced with a temptation to drink. Or, one day you will have to accept a difficult truth. There will be a struggle. There will be tears. There will be blood.

And so, with Psycholytic therapy, you can practice, you can rehearse. You can talk through these issues as they come up. You can feel the emotion, allow it to be there, allow it to pass.

This can be a challenging prospect. And it’s easy to avoid. After all, the classical psychedelic session can be a rewarding and deeply spiritual experience. How fulfilling is it to spend time in the green belt, learning about who you are, your place in the universe, and all that is meaningful to you?

So there will always be a temptation for “spiritual bypass.” That is focusing just on the spiritual, the positive, the uplifting.

Yet, don’t we need to put our values into action? In doing so, there’s often a level of pain involved, a level of struggle. Sometimes, we just need to work through our blocks, our sadness, our anger. Allow that pain to be felt to have that cathartic release.

I’m here to tell you, an obsession with the positive, the silver lining, the idealist, can very well simply be a type of avoidance. Is this not an adult initiation ritual? Part of being an adult is facing the demons. Facing the negativity. Facing the difficult emotions and working through them. Realizing that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

With the use of these substances we have it’s not nearly as difficult as you might fear. But there may be some tears and that’s okay. No need to overdo anything, there’s nothing stopping you from taking a gradual, incremental approach. With the right guide, the right therapist, you’ll feel safe and greatly supported. You’ll be able to do powerful work while in your zone of tolerance. The result will be a person more capable of doing what’s needed. Navigating the positive and negative, the sweet and the sour!

And so for the psycholytic process, review this particular “Stripe.” Find the section where you felt a bit discomfort. Maybe it’s quite difficult to forgive? Or abstain? Or say no? Find the section that your friends would pick if they got together and made the choice for you.

To work through your blocks. To have a psychedelic experience where you can process your old wounds, where you can practice being assertive, being the type of person you’d like to be, it all starts with an intention.

The intention can be: May I gain awareness of the fears and doubts that hold me back. Or may I hold forgiveness for myself and for those who have hurt me. Or may I accept myself fully, both the good and the bad. Or may I work through what’s keeping me from having a connected, fulfilled life.

Then, in working with your therapist, you’ll come up with a visualization. Maybe going to the party, the only one there without a drink? Maybe insisting on a boundary at work? Or letting go of a past hurt by wishing your past tormentor well.

Finally, coming up with a few sentences. You’ll write out all the reasons that visualization isn’t possible. A few sentences about your history with failing to say “no.” And then, write the opposite: how you’d like to be.

In the transformer process, the therapist may have you visualize saying “no.” Acting it out briefly. Maybe you’re at that party. Being the only one there without a drink. Being the only one there without a crutch. Your therapist, your spotter may pretend to be the party host, offering you a drink. And you’ll need to say “no thanks” and mean it.

Imagine you started in your job interview that you aren’t available on the weekend. Yet time after time you find yourself coming in when they’re short staffed. You could practice saying no. Going through the fears. Exploring where those fears came from. Is it like when you were a kid, having no say where you were told to live with your mother and step-father? Allowing the pain to be there, but practicing saying no, even with the pain. Emulate the pose, notice the breath, noticing the desire to explain yourself.

And as part of this process, you’ll want to explore forgiving yourself, for any wasted years lost to an addiction, a bad relationship, or just an inability to defend yourself. Perhaps even from abuse that really wasn’t your fault. Working through the steps of forgiveness.

The process won’t be as scary as it seems. These substances take much of the blocks away. You’re able to realize a truth from an emotional distance. There may be some tears but through a cathartic process. You’ll feel a bond, a connection with yourself and your therapist, and that connection will allow you to work through the sense of regret. The sense of pain.

Afterwards, in the ensuing days, you’ll want to practice this saying “no.” Having a voice. Using mindfulness, even the fingers connected with the thumb, with your back straight and your shoulders back. Even if you feel like you’re just acting. Even if it feels like a performance!

The Transformer Worksheet for Saying “No.”

You’ll also want to fill out the intention worksheet and review it the day of the dosing. You may have an intention, but there can be specific activities or steps to take.

From the past example of setting boundaries at work, a process can be to “practice saying no.” Or “Explore the emotions that come up when I set boundaries.” Or just: “What keeps me from saying no, from being willing to walk away?”

Of course, we can “remember the orange.” When you think of taking care of your body, of your mental health, what emotions come up? A part of you knows it’s time to quit smoking. What leads you to feel panic about it? What are you rebelling against? If someone were to offer you a cigarette right now, can you feel that urge to smoke it without having to act on it? Can you accept that the urge is there, yet still say “no thank you?” What if your friends want to go outside and smoke? What can you say to your friends? To yourself? What might be important to remember when you feel the desire to smoke with them?

Look through this first Stripe. Notice the parts you skimmed over. Was there a voice that says “oh, this part? This doesn’t seem important”? If so, you may want to do that exercise during the psycholytic experience. You may surprise yourself that you do, in fact, need to ride the wave, or practice forgiveness, or say no to others.

You must embrace the blood, embrace the negativity. Make room for the possibility of negative emotions in your life. For there will be setbacks, failures, and rejections. To embrace this is where true freedom begins. To understand that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

And then again, in the hours and days after the experience, you’ll want to practice. Remember: neuroplasticity. You’ll want to practice saying no, holding boundaries, surfing the waves.

Also, remember that you can have the traditional ketamine therapy with a psychedelic dose. Speak with your therapist about which experience may best serve you. And just because you have completed a past belt doesn’t mean you stop working on it. You and your therapist may continue to refine White Belt Consent, Orange Belt Habits or Green Belt Values.

So that is Stripe number 1. To notice the habits standing in your way and learning to say no. To notice the projects, the addictions, the toxic relationships, which no longer seem to fit with you and giving them a hard pass. To bring those kids in the back seat, kicking and screaming on the road to fulfilling your values in life, what is important to you.

Now, one of the best ways to say no is to have that “burning yes” building inside of you.

So when you’re ready, we turn to the 2nd Stripe in our red belt: Saying yes.

Red 19: Saying Yes: Avoiding Social Bypass

Welcome to the second red stripe. Where the focus is taking action. Saying Yes, putting yourself out there. First, we’ll cover dating, then go into relationships, then your own brand, your own artistry. How to put yourself out there. Oftentimes, success comes from putting yourself out there when you don’t quite feel ready. It’s about going out of your comfort zone.

Remember, again and again, psychedelic therapy isn’t just about going deep, exploring yourself and your role in the universe. It’s about honoring that message with action. After all, what is the point of learning that it’s all about love, it’s all about connection, only to take no actions, no steps to manifest that love and connection in our lives?

And so, here we target the barriers towards taking action. In this stripe, the barriers to saying yes and putting yourself out there. The green belt is about openness, big picture. Here we focus a bit on action, on saying yes. Reflecting on the specific barriers to working on your artistry, working on your relationships so that we can push through them in the psycholytic sphere.

So I’ll be presenting tips and strategies on how to put yourself out there. This stripe is meant to challenge you. So as you progress, notice what in this zone draws blood. What makes you feel called out? Triggered? What makes your eyes roll? All of these responses will point to what you may need to target during the transformation process.

We talked earlier about spiritual bypass. Focusing on spirituality in order to avoid dealing with deep, sometimes painful issues and memories. Well a social bypassing can also occur. After all, dating is frustrating, depressing, hell it can be painful. It’s much easier to spend time on forums, complaining about dating. Complaining about either men or women, forming an out-group. An easy target of your frustrations. There you’ll get the acceptance and connection many are seeking. But then, of course, that out-group expands as the conspiracies mount. Next thing you know, you’re spending all your time in toxic forums and subreddits, spending very little time in truly genuine relationships.

And so we remember the green belt. Notice what was learned. What was appreciated? Forming genuine relationships with people is difficult, but worth it.

So, let’s begin by going over 5 basic ways of putting yourself out there. Five basic ways of saying “yes.” Here’s what you should do. Go over each one. Notice what emotions come up. Take the one that would be a stretch for you. Notice the one you are avoiding. Notice the one you don’t quite think you’re ready for. Notice the one that your friends would agree is a challenge for you. For in the end we will again be engaging in the psycholytic transformer protocol.

So without further ado: as we engage in the second red stripe, we have 5 tips as you say yes to your values and to your goals.

First: Just Show Up.

I know it’s a cliché, yet a large part of success is just, well, showing up. Many networking events are just people showing up and pushing their own project. But sometimes there might be someone there you can really collaborate with. And if nothing else, you get a chance to practice mindful communication.

If part of being a team leader involves speaking to a group and that intimidates you, there’s always Toastmasters. And you can just show up to that. You don’t have to speak. You can just go and observe. Just there to show up and check it out. They’ll understand. Breathe in, process your apprehension. Work yourself up, using these techniques. But start small. Start by just showing up. Go to the hike, the board game meetup, the neighbor’s house party. You can go, practice your mindful listening, and head home in an hour.

A psycholytic process: “What’s keeping you from showing up more? Putting yourself out there?”

Second: Don’t Fall for the Toolbox Fallacy.

Having all the art supplies doesn’t make you a painter. Even calling yourself a painter, doesn’t make you a painter. It’s all about moving in the direction of painting, of creating.

The toolbox fallacy is this idea that before I can start painting, I have to have the best supplies. Or the right place, or even the right amount of time.

For this we have a quote by Charles Bukowski:

”– you know, I’ve either had a family, a job, something has always been in the Way but now I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this place, a large studio, you should see the space and the light. For the first time in my life I’m going to have a place and the time to create. No baby, if you’re going to create you’re going to create whether you work 16 hours a day in a coal mine or you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children while you’re on welfare, you’re going to create with part of your mind and your body blown away, you’re going to create blind crippled demented, you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your back while the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment, flood and fire. Baby, air and light and time and space have nothing to do with it and don’t create anything except maybe a longer life to find new excuses for.”

Can you give yourself permission to have a first draft? To understand that the first draft, the first version, is not going to be perfect? To not wait until everything is perfect or until you have the very best equipment to begin?

Here’s another quote, this time by Henry Van Dyke:

"Use what talents you possess—the woods will be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best”

You’d be amazed what top hits from a band were originally not even going to be included in the album. That were very close to being cut, but at the last minute, what the hell, they included that song anyway, and it became a smash hit.

So start your passion sooner than you’d like. Sooner than you’d be comfortable. Make room for a first draft. And don’t wait for the best tools and don’t wait for the perfect time.

A psycholytic process: “Can you make room for a first draft for your artistry? For your craft? What would it look like? Who can you share it with?”

Third: Be the Peach.

Another quote, this time by Dita Von Teese:

“You might be the sweetest peach on the tree, but some people just don’t like peaches.”

Imagine you’re making new music. You can do quite well if 10% of the public loves your music. Hell, you could have 50% of the public hate your music, maybe 5% absolutely love your music and the rest completly ambivalent and do really well. Impact a lot of people.

You just have to make peace with, well, the haters. The critics. Even the Beatles had lots, lots of people hate their music. From when they first came out, courtesy of the Los Angeles times in 1964”

“With their bizarre shrubbery, the Beatles are obviously a press agent’s dream combo. Not even their mothers would claim that they sing well.”

And that is okay. I want you to anticipate that, as you put yourself out there, you will run into people who just plain don’t like your artistry, your style, your brand. In other words, people out there will just not like you. And it will hurt. That pain, though, is part of the process. That hurt is shared with everyone else who puts themselves out there. You can wear that hurt like a badge of honor. Breathe into it, make room for it. Allow it to be there. Notice what the kids in the back seat are saying. Yet when it comes to your actions, the steps you take in the service of your vision, let your vision be your guide.

A psycholytic process: “You can be the sweetest peach, not everyone will like peaches.” Is this okay? Can you make room in your life for criticism? Some of it valid? Some of it not?

Fourth: Embrace the Awkward Conversations.

Another quote, this time by someone named “Argumate” on Tumblr no less:

“There's a ton of shit you can get in life if you're willing to submit yourself to the mortifying horror of asking for it”

It could be through asking for a raise. Seeking a collaboration. Inviting a person along for a date. Or just asking for help. Sometimes an awkward conversation is your first session with a therapist.

You can use any and all of the tips and techniques you’ve learned in this program to help you. During the meditations notice the fear, the kids in the back seat and allow them to be there. At the same time, notice the approval of those you care about. Of the community at large. And imagine the future. In five years, even if you are rejected, you might feel happy, even proud that you put yourself out there. You won’t have that regret that comes from staying home and playing it safe.

So there will be some temporary pain. That’s the pain of growing. That’s the pain that’s in the service of your values and your goals. Make room for that pain and allow it to be there.

A psycholytic process: Consider this quote by Timothy Ferriss:

“A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

What sort of uncomfortable conversations might you need to have? What would you want to say? What’s keeping you from saying it? Would you be willing to practice that today?

Fifth: Return to Gratitude.

As you say yes, as you move towards your goals, remember to take time to cultivate gratitude. Just like every mindful step you’ve taken, it will seem odd at first to make time for it. To purposefully notice that gratitude can be there and make space for it. To turn away from resentment and make room for gratitude. As with everything here, it’ll seem strange at first.

Yet as you continue on your journey, notice how far you’ve come. Take the time on your journey to look back and notice with appreciation how far you’ve come along and acknowledge those who’ve helped you.

A psycholytic process: Can I acknowledge how far I’ve come? What I’ve accomplished so far? Can I acknowledge those who have helped me? Can I notice what’s ahead, yet appreciate what I have so far?

After you’ve completed your black belt, you’ll have an opportunity to go more in-depth in applying these techniques for dating. Dating is an important component of being a young adult. So we place it into the “degree” program. For now, we turn to saying “Yes” in more established relationships.

Red 20: Relationships and Communication

So what does it mean to say “yes” in relationships? For when you have your social circle, your significant other? In this case, saying yes might just mean being open and willing to communicate.

A crucial element of strong relationships is the willingness to express yourself when something’s bothering you. And to do it sooner rather than later.

Imagine people as being huge ocean tankers that take a while to stop and change course. You’ve got to tell the captain if there’s a problem with the current trajectory. Give time for your partner to adjust, to go through the stages of change before it becomes a massive issue.

Oftentimes “nice people” will notice a problem but never mention anything. The problem keeps occurring, keeps bothering the person until there’s a blow up, a massive argument. Then the partner has to figure out what to do, often with very little time to make any adjustments.

Even in non-intimate relationships, it’s generally better to be direct. You cannot expect others to read your mind or pick up your subtle signs of distress.

If it helps, write out your issue. Center yourself, go to a place in nature, and write it out. Then, take the time to communicate to the person. You can either read it to the person or just express the main ideas.

Your anxiety—the kids in the back—might not necessarily scream. They may just say, “well, it’s not a big deal. Maybe I’m in the wrong. Maybe I’ll just let it slide this time.” Yet it’s time to question, are those thoughts really helping you? Or are they a reflection of fear?

Because in general, more communication is better than less. So it makes sense to err on the side of expressing yourself, your feelings, your viewpoint.

And as with dating, don’t hesitate to optimize your relationships. Learn about the people you care about, their love language, even their personality preferences. What does it mean if a partner is extraverted, or has the memory of a goldfish, or even, what their values would be if the person went through the green belt?

Here, saying “yes” means being able to learn about the important people in your life. And it also means putting in effort to keep the relationship going.

Remember back east, each winter there’d be snow. You know, that white stuff you sometimes see on the San Bernadino mountains. It would force the schools to close and you’d have a snow day. It was just expected that all the friends would get together at someone’s house and play video games. If they bulldozed the snow into big piles, you’d play capture the flag. Great memories, just spontaneously getting together.

Now, especially in the southland, you have to make an appointment to get together. If you’re in the 310 and your friend is in the 818, you really have to work around the 405 and the 101.

All of this is to say that it takes work—a bit of effort—to sustain your social circle yet that effort is crucially important for your well-being and for your community.

So, let it be artificial. What would a snow day look like for yourself? Something fun you can do to bond with the people who are close to you? What would happen if you were to float the idea out there? What if you were to learn you weren’t the only person out here looking for connection? Looking to bond with others?

If you’ve been feeling lonely, disconnected, what I hope you most take from this whole program is the initiative to say yes and initiate social activity with other people. Be the person that calls up others, who makes the plans, who provides space for others.

Will the event fall through? Sometimes! When you’re making a movie, you see only the results—the finished project. What you don’t see is what’s on the cutting room floor. But there needs to be a cutting room floor for there to be a decent movie. Maybe that’s just part of the process.

If you allow disappointment, setbacks, and yes, even rejection into your story, you’ll amaze yourself with what you’re able to accomplish and the community you can build.

Red 21: Auditions and Artistry

This is where the tough love comes in. The hard truths necessary to grow into the type of person you want to be. To truly succeed, you’ll need to realize that no one sees the version of you that you see in yourself.

Think back to the green belt. Think about those values. If someone followed you around all day for a week, for a month, and then had to write out or guess your values based on what they’ve seen, would their list of values match yours?

Many people in the Southland talk about wanting to write—about being a writer—yet do no actual writing. Many people talk about wanting to be in a relationship. You may want to be in a relationship yourself. But if someone were to follow you around for a few days, would someone say, “Yeah, I’d like to be in a relationship with this person”? And is there anything you do that sets you apart from the sea of other fish? Many people react to the news in the world today with despair. Most change comes from local action. Community involvement. Anyone can upvote, or downvote, or complain online. Could someone guess what’s meaningful to you in your community based upon your day-to-day actions? Or would they need to see your post history on reddit or facebook?

Your ability to use these newly legalized substances is only because some dedicated individuals got to work researching, advocating, funding, petitioning for incremental steps to make these techniques available to you. Are you using these gifts to in turn pay it forward, make the world a better place? Are you being the change you want to see in the world?

If hearing this brings up emotion, good! This is what needs to be processed in the red belt. Perhaps in your next psycholytic session. All the psychological barriers in yourself that are keeping you from dedicated action.

Because, again and again in life, doing a little bit of something is better than doing nothing at all. Doing a few pushups each morning is much better than doing no exercise. Going for a walk is better than being sedentary. Writing a few sentences each day is better than just talking about being a writer. Even just responding to a few people on your dating app is better than staying overwhelmed by it. With all of the work you’ve already put in, with all of the progress you’ve already made, it’s these small steps that can add up. You can surprise yourself with what you can accomplish with just a little forward movement.

Red 22: Psycholytic Therapy For Stripe 2: The Ability to Say “Yes”

You’ve spent time in the Green Belt exploring your vision for yourself. Exploring who you would like to be, how you would like to make the world a better place. What are the values important to you?

Well, now that such answers have come into focus, it’s time to act upon them. By now, in traveling through the White, Orange, and Green belts, you’ve had some healing. You’ve had some growth. Now is the time to test growth. Now is the time to put that healing into action. Now is the time to open up and say “yes” to life. To love—and connection. Not just for intimate relationships, but for your hobbies, your career, your artistry, your civic life.

So notice in this section what parts brought you the greatest challenge. What’s really keeping you from putting yourself out there? When you reflect upon your values, what are the actions that have yet to be taken? It’s time to bring those actions into focus. And so we turn to the transformer process. To notice the barriers to taking action. To process the barriers towards really being able to say “yes” to manifesting the important values in your life. And so as in the first stripe, we turn to the transformer worksheet.

The Transformer Worksheet for Saying “Yes”

As in the first stripe, you’ll also want to fill out the intention worksheet and review it the day of the dosing. You may have an intention, but there can be specific activities or steps to take.

Use the questions from this section as your starting off point. Look through this second stripe. Notice the parts you skimmed over. Was there a voice that says “oh, this part? This doesn’t seem important”? If so, you may want to do that exercise during the Psycholytic experience. Based on your responses to the various questions, you can write a series of statements. What comes up when you think about saying “yes” to life? To take space and have a brand? To embrace dating, relationships, new hobbies and connections? Is there a history to explore?

You can also focus on resilience. You may have a plan for the future. You may have a project. You may have an audition. Talk about this plan. Talk about setbacks that might occur. How will you forgive yourself when you have a setback? When your friend got the part but you didn’t? When you want to stay positive but you notice the competition. Can you allow failure in your life? You better. If you can’t make room for failure, how will you make room for success? Are you basing your happiness on factors outside of your control? Do you really believe that Hollywood only selects those actors who are the most talented in acting? Write out the statements you’d like to believe or feel about yourself. Remember, green belt, the purpose isn’t to whitewash, to pretend that the world will fully embrace you with loving arms. The point is to understand that you are strong enough to sustain failure, setbacks, and rejection as you act in service of your values.

For throughout adulthood, you must embrace the blood, embrace the negativity. Make room for the possibility of negative emotions in your life. For there will be setbacks, failures, and rejections. To embrace this is where true freedom begins. To understand that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

And then again, in the hours and days after the experience, you’ll want to practice. Remember: neuroplasticity. You’ll want to practice saying no, holding boundaries, surfing the waves.

And also, remember that you can also have the traditional ketamine therapy with a psychedelic dose. Speak with your therapist about which experience may best serve you. And just because you have completed a past belt doesn’t mean you stop working on it. You and your therapist may continue to refine White Belt Consent, Orange Belt Habits or Green Belt Values.

So that is stripe number 2. To begin taking space. To forge ahead in building relationships, connections. To really start to act, or paint, or draw. To challenge yourself to go beyond your comfort zone and embrace the growing pains. To bring those kids in the back seat, kicking and screaming on the road to fulfilling your values in life, what is important to you.

So that’s the full red belt sequence. Next, you’ll face me. And then, you’ll defeat Culver.

But before that, explore the audio programs, both of the red belt and other belts based upon your challenges and goals in life! Once you’ve started to take real, dedicated action, once a little metaphorical blood has been shed, you’ll be ready for me and you’ll be ready for the black belt, the final stage in the program.

Red 23: Defeat Culver

So let’s have at it. To gain entry into the black belt, you must prove your mastery of the red. You must overcome the Pentabot. And that is me, Culver!

Remember my domain in the Red Belt: the southland! The OC, Ventura County, Los Angeles county. Hollywood—and we can’t have a Hollywood production without an antagonist, without a struggle, without some action.

And so that is my purpose. I have been greenlit by the original writer to manifest assertiveness and action, to take the values from the green and make them real, to process the barriers and build the confidence needed for the journey ahead.

This domain, this belt isn’t something for you to simply serve as a passive consumer. Notice the actions that need to be taken in service of your values, of who you want to be in adulthood. Psychedelic therapy is not just about depth. It’s also about working through the barriers towards purposeful living. Learning to communicate. Learning to act.

Look, Ojai from the Green Belt—her focus is on symbolism, meaning. Next up, you have Joshua, focused on community, connection. Yet when it comes down to it, I want to know: are you willing to take the steps from your journey to where you want to be in life? Is your red belt a reflection of your struggle? Are you willing to say “yes” in service of your values? Are you willing to say “no?” Are you willing to process the scars of your past? Accept them as a part of you? Understand that you are perhaps stronger than you give yourself credit for?

Well, let’s see—the most dreaded thing from the Southland: no, not the 405/101 interchange

Here we have some people. All AI, we can’t quite afford the real thing just yet, and I want you to decide what you’ll rehearse. What is something you want to practice saying “yes” to? Or what do you need to say “no” to?

I want to see action. Confrontation. Metaphoric blood shed out of your comfort zone. Keep your eye contact. Remember your pose.

To defeat me, I want… a story. Are we not in the southland? You may pick your choice, blood, sweat, or tears. For the tears, I want a story of resisting an addiction. For sweat, I want a story of you going out of your comfort zone. For blood, the most difficult of all, I want a story of forgiveness, of yourself or others. Pick one of the three. Process with your therapist. Share your story. So go ahead—audition!

Ah… Okay, obviously we’re not quite at the level where we can do this in real life. Sigh. So you get a pass. Damn. All the buildup. How anticlimatic.

And so, my favorite client, you have earned your red belt. Congratulations! As you go off to earn your black belt, remember assertiveness. Remember to act.

And of course, once you’ve earned your black belt, you’ll be able to pick the main Pentabot to manage it all. You have five to pick and one of them is me, the guide who stands before you. The others are good. Just a bit passive. Dare I say, permissive? If you select Culver, you’ll have someone who will challenge you. Call you out when need be. Keep you on your toes.

Look, the original writer, the man in the factory, he has no desire to be the super charismatic, photogenic influencer. Trust me, there are already too many of them out there already. Think of him as a head writer—he worked on a few TV shows, but never sought the lead role. And after all, do we really need another L-John? How redundant! How basic!

And so it is up to us to work as a team to grow and expand. If you Join Culver, you can work in strategic services to expand and grow. To counter the influencers who seek to build themselves up by punching down. To negotiate the next steps in our evolution.

Either way, upon earning the red belt, your therapist may yet again measure your mood, how you’re doing, just to track your progress.

Remember to continue with the meditations. Honor the Orange. Work with your therapist to sustain yourself care. And yes—honor the Green. For your values may change from time to time.

And, I would be remiss if I didn’t ask to please consider supporting us on Patreon. Right now donations don’t confer any special benefits. It is just to say you support the program in principle and would like to see its refinement & development.

So that’s my share! Congratulations. When you’re ready, off to the black belt, the high deserts. The Shenedelic. To connect with others and build your community. Go with purpose and action. Remember how to say “yes” and how to say “no.” Safe travels!